Yes: An easy guide to a difficult word | Jan van der Meer | TEDxLeidenUniversity

Key Concepts

• Saying "yes" to opportunities and experiences
• Overcoming the fear of saying "yes"
• The benefits of saying "yes" (creativity, mental health, stronger bonds)
• Kindness as a two-way street
• Opportunities being everywhere
• Embracing embarrassment and discomfort
• The power of "yes" to ignite change

The Power of "Yes"

The speaker begins by highlighting the universality and significance of the word "yes," noting its presence in pivotal life questions. However, he questions how often we truly mean it when we say it, contrasting it with forced smiles and abandoned promises.

• Emma Kenny's Study: A study involving 2,000 British individuals revealed that the fear of saying "yes" is common, stemming from discomfort outside one's comfort zone and feelings of inadequacy or fear of judgment.
• Benefits of Saying "Yes": Research indicates that saying "yes" boosts creativity, strengthens mental health, and fosters stronger relationships.

The Speaker's Experiment: A Year of "Yes"

The speaker shares his personal experience of embracing "yes" for a year, inspired by Danny Wallace's book and the film "Yes Man" starring Jim Carrey.

• Inspiration: The speaker, feeling uninspired and experiencing academic and social struggles during his fourth degree, found inspiration in Danny Wallace's book about saying "yes" to everything.
• Danny Wallace's Experiences: Wallace's "yes" experiment led to bizarre experiences, including winning and losing the lottery on the same day, joining a cult, and an awkward double date, but ultimately resulted in his dream job and finding love.
• Speaker's Experiences: The speaker's "yes" journey led to unexpected adventures, including traveling to the Baltics, exploring various towns across the country, appearing on news channels (even Belgian news), and wearing a mascot outfit. He also got a book published.

Lessons Learned from Saying "Yes"

The speaker distills his experiences into key lessons:

1. People are Generally Good

• Kindness is a Two-Way Street: People are willing to help, but you must meet them halfway.
• Example: The speaker reluctantly attended a friend's early morning children's musical in Amsterdam, despite disliking the city. This act of support led to the friend reciprocating when the speaker needed help later.
• Currency of Kindness: The speaker emphasizes that the "currency of kindness" is worth every "yes."

2. Opportunities are Everywhere

• Unexpected Opportunities: Saying "yes" led to unexpected opportunities, such as joining a drumming lesson, meeting the Minister of Foreign Affairs, pretending to be Hungarian for a day, and having drinks with a security software startup in Copenhagen.
• Comfort in Being Yourself: These experiences made the speaker more comfortable with being himself and realizing his potential.

3. People Participate in Activities

• Shared Experiences: It's not always about the activity itself, but who you're doing it with.
• Example: Joining board game sessions led to new friendships and insights into the board game scene.
• Overcoming Fear of the Unknown: The speaker encourages people to attend events even if they don't know anyone, highlighting the potential for new connections and experiences.

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Change

• Embracing Embarrassment: The speaker acknowledges the fear and potential for embarrassment but encourages the audience to try saying "yes" to something they're scared of.
• The World is Full of Possibilities: The speaker emphasizes that opportunities are abundant in everyday life, waiting to be discovered.
• The Power to Change: The speaker concludes by urging the audience to say "yes" more often, emphasizing that it has the power to ignite change in their own lives and the lives of others.

Conclusion

The speaker advocates for embracing the power of "yes" to overcome fear, discover opportunities, build connections, and ultimately change one's life and the world around them. He supports his argument with personal anecdotes, research findings, and a call to action, encouraging the audience to say "yes" more often and experience the transformative potential of this simple word.