How I handle 389 unread messages

Key Concepts:

• Limited capacity to reply to texts
• Acceptance of disappointing people
• WhatsApp message overload
• Non-urgent message handling
• Following up on messages
• Time management (toilet time)

Dealing with Text Overload

The core issue addressed is managing a high volume of incoming texts when one has limited capacity to respond. The speaker acknowledges the feeling of being overwhelmed by messages.

Oliver Burkeman's Philosophy

The speaker's approach is influenced by Oliver Burkeman, author of "4,000 Weeks" and "Meditations for Mortals." Burkeman's philosophy emphasizes the necessity of accepting that you can't keep up with everything and that disappointing people is inevitable.

WhatsApp as a Case Study

The speaker uses their own WhatsApp as a prime example of message overload. Their WhatsApp is described as a "cesspit" due to a mix of work, personal, and unsolicited messages (pitches from startups, podcast requests, etc.).

Acceptance and Communication

The speaker has accepted that they won't be able to reply to everyone promptly and that some friends and family will be disappointed. To mitigate this, they occasionally update their WhatsApp status to indicate that non-response is not personal and to encourage people to follow up.

Prioritization and Non-Urgent Messages

The speaker is "okay to just leave people on red" and not reply to messages that are not urgent or time-sensitive. The speaker prioritizes based on urgency and time sensitivity.

Managing Disappointment

The speaker acknowledges that people may be initially disappointed by a lack of response, but they believe that "it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things."

Personal Assurance

The speaker directly addresses their friends and family, reassuring them that a lack of response is not personal and is usually due to the sheer volume of messages. They reiterate the invitation to follow up.

"Toilet Time" Strategy

The speaker reveals a specific time management strategy: using "toilet time" to catch up on WhatsApp messages. They describe a routine of replying to messages for a few minutes while on the toilet, then resuming their day.

Notable Quotes:

• "You've got to be okay with disappointing people some of the time, and it's impossible to keep on top of everything." (Attributed to Oliver Burkeman's philosophy)
• "My WhatsApp is an absolute sort of cesspit." (Describing the state of their WhatsApp)
• "If I don't respond to you, don't worry. It's nothing personal. Please feel free to follow up." (Example of their WhatsApp status)

Technical Terms/Concepts:

• Leaving someone on read: Acknowledging that you have seen a message but not replying.
• Time-sensitive: Requiring a response within a specific timeframe.

Logical Connections:

The speaker begins by acknowledging the problem of text overload, then presents a philosophical approach to dealing with it (Burkeman's influence), illustrates the problem with a personal example (WhatsApp), and finally offers a specific, albeit unconventional, time management solution.

Synthesis/Conclusion:

The main takeaway is that managing text overload requires accepting that you can't respond to everything, communicating this to others, prioritizing urgent messages, and finding creative ways to carve out time for responding. The speaker's approach emphasizes self-compassion and realistic expectations in the face of constant digital communication.