Key Concepts:
- Crohn's disease: A chronic inflammatory bowel disease affecting the digestive tract.
- Immunosuppressants and steroids: Drugs used to slow the progression of Crohn's disease.
- Flare-ups: Periods of increased disease activity and symptoms.
- Ileostomy: A surgical procedure creating an opening (stoma) in the abdomen for waste removal.
- Ileum: Part of the small intestine that is pulled through the stoma.
- Stoma: The opening created during an ileostomy.
- Ostomy bag: A bag attached to the stoma to collect waste.
The Onset of Crohn's Disease and Initial Struggles
In 2010, at age 13, the speaker was diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease, a chronic inflammatory bowel disease with no cure. The disease manifested rapidly, leading to hospitalization within a month of the first symptoms. Symptoms included severe bleeding, weight loss, hair loss, frequent bathroom trips, and debilitating cramps described as feeling like "stomach was being stabbed with glass that had been lit on fire." For five years, the speaker battled the disease, experiencing repeated hospitalizations and missing out on typical teenage experiences. Various drugs, infusions, and diets proved ineffective, leading to recurring flare-ups. By age 18, the speaker weighed only 81 lbs and was severely weakened.
The Decision for Ileostomy Surgery
During a hospitalization at 18, doctors presented the option of ileostomy surgery, which involved removing the colon. Desperate for relief, the speaker agreed to the surgery. The speaker was at the point of wanting to give up on life. Before the surgery, the speaker was shown the area where the stoma would be placed.
Understanding and Naming the Ileostomy
An ileostomy is a surgical procedure where a portion of the small intestine (ileum) is brought through an opening (stoma) in the abdomen. An ostomy bag is then attached to the stoma to collect waste. The speaker researched ileostomies and found a blog by a woman who named her ileostomy. Inspired, the speaker named their ileostomy Wilbur, continuing a pattern of naming medical devices (e.g., "Bessie" for a pick line, "Ivan" for an IV pole, and "Carl" for the colon). Wilbur was described as "coming in at a whopping 2 and 1/2 in and 1 oz."
Recovery and Readjustment
Following the surgery, the speaker had to relearn their body and experiment with different ostomy products. The recovery process was challenging, involving "many late nights, tears, and bags of poop." Eventually, the speaker was able to resume activities enjoyed before Crohn's, such as playing soccer, socializing, and attending school.
Dating and Relationships
The speaker's parents were concerned about the impact of the ileostomy on their dating life. The speaker humorously addressed the concern that potential partners would be repulsed by Wilbur. The speaker stated that, to their knowledge, nobody that they've dated has ever rejected them because of their ileostomy. The speaker varies when and how they introduce Wilbur to dates, sometimes revealing it on the first date. The speaker uses humor to ease the conversation, such as joking about being a "cheap date" due to alcohol affecting them faster. Some men ask questions, while others are nonchalant. The speaker shared an anecdote about a partner who mistakenly believed the ostomy bag was inside their body.
The Ileostomy as a Litmus Test
The speaker views Wilbur as a "litmus test" for potential partners. If someone is uncomfortable with the ileostomy, they are likely not a suitable match. The speaker emphasizes the importance of honesty and openness about potentially sensitive topics. By being open, individuals can foster deeper connections, learn about themselves, and find humor in challenging situations.
Conclusion
The speaker concludes that being honest about things we may want to hide creates opportunities to get deeper with one another, discover new things about ourselves, and maybe even find a good joke or two along the way. While the speaker hasn't found "the one" yet, they remain hopeful of finding a partner who accepts them, Wilbur included.
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