Why the “superstar” myth might be holding us all back | Dr. Vanessa Druskat | TEDxPortsmouth

Key Concepts:

• Emotionally Intelligent Norms: Shared understandings and expectations within a team that foster collaboration, support, and motivation.
• Belonging: Feeling genuinely accepted, known, and valued within a team.
• Debate: Constructive discussion and disagreement within a team, focused on the topic at hand.
• Relational Resonance, Dissonance, and Repair: A process for maintaining relationships after debates by addressing any negative impact.
• External Outreach: Seeking new ideas and perspectives from outside the team.
• Social Norms: Expected behaviors and attitudes within a group or society.
• Social Learning: The process of learning by observing others and adapting to social norms.

1. The Power of Teamwork and Emotionally Intelligent Norms

• The speaker emphasizes that collaboration within teams is a powerful force, contrary to the "superhero" narrative prevalent in individualistic cultures.
• Emotionally intelligent norms are crucial for effective teamwork, enabling team members to support each other, build on strengths, and motivate effort.
• Without these norms, teams struggle, lose effort, and may not achieve their goals.
• The speaker, who has studied team dynamics for 30 years, is referred to as the "Jane Goodall of teams" due to extensive observation of team cultures.
• The core message is that improving team norms is more effective than trying to "fix" individuals.

2. The Importance of Social Norms: A Personal Anecdote

• The speaker shares a personal experience from childhood in Kenya to illustrate the significance of social norms.
• At age five, she learned that publicly expressing joy after winning a race was considered bad manners in Kenyan culture.
• This experience highlighted the need to follow social norms to fit in and build meaningful relationships.
• Humans are wired for social learning, observing others to understand and adopt social norms.
• Early human survival depended on collaboration within tribes, which required strict adherence to social norms.
• Fear of social rejection is deeply ingrained, influencing behavior, especially during adolescence.

3. Social Norms and Bullying Reduction: The Elizabeth Pollock Study

• Elizabeth Pollock conducted a study in 56 middle and high schools in New York to investigate the impact of changing social norms on bullying.
• The study identified popular students and engaged them in workshops to create anti-bullying messages.
• These students then promoted the message that bullying was inappropriate.
• The intervention resulted in a 30% reduction in bullying, demonstrating the power of social norms.
• The speaker emphasizes that building empathy alone is not as effective as changing social norms in reducing bullying.

4. Three Emotionally Intelligent Norms for Building Better Teams

• The speaker introduces three key norms that high-performing teams share, based on 30 years of research:
  • Build Belonging: Create a sense of acceptance, knowledge, and value among team members.
    • Implement check-ins at the start of meetings, allowing each person to share their thoughts and feelings (e.g., "What are you excited about? What are you nervous about?").
    • Conduct gallery walks, where team members write down answers to personal questions (e.g., "What did you do for the holidays? What book have you read lately?") and share them with the group.
  • Create Debate: Encourage constructive disagreement while keeping the debate focused on the topic.
    • Address rising emotions and potential insults by refocusing the discussion on the core issues.
    • Implement relational repair activities (relational resonance, dissonance, and repair) after debates to maintain relationships.
    • Example: An engineering team improved collaboration and performance by adopting a norm of looking one another in the eye, listening hard, and leaning in during debates.
  • Reach Outside the Team: Seek new ideas and perspectives from external sources.
    • Engage with clients, customers, CEOs, and thought leaders from different industries.
    • Recognize that the team does not possess all the necessary information internally.

5. Conclusion: The Importance of Team Collaboration and Norms

• The speaker argues that leaders may avoid implementing these norms due to time constraints, but the long-term benefits outweigh the initial investment.
• These norms can be applied in various settings, including families, schools, and workplaces.
• The speaker's childhood experience in Kenya shaped her life's work, emphasizing the need to improve team norms rather than fix individuals.
• Teaching team-building and collaborative skills to students is crucial for fostering innovation and success.
• Every major innovation in human history has resulted from team collaboration, highlighting the importance of building effective teams.