Why are Girls Attracted to Unattractive Guys? | Science of Female Attraction

Key Concepts

• Mate Selection: The process by which individuals choose their partners.
• Evolutionary Psychology: A theoretical approach to psychology that attempts to explain useful mental and psychological traits—such as memory, perception, or language—as adaptations, i.e., as the functional products of natural selection.
• Neuroscience: The study of the nervous system, including the brain, and its functions.
• Visual Cortex & Fusiform Face Area (FFA): Brain regions involved in processing visual information, particularly faces.
• Amygdala: A brain structure involved in processing emotions, especially fear and pleasure.
• Nucleus Accumbens: A brain region associated with reward, motivation, and pleasure.
• Hypothalamus: A brain region that regulates various bodily functions, including hormone release.
• Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): The front part of the frontal lobe of the brain, involved in decision-making, planning, and complex cognitive behavior.
• Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex (vmPFC): A subregion of the prefrontal cortex involved in decision-making, emotion regulation, and social behavior.
• Dopamine: A neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation.
• Testosterone: A sex hormone associated with masculinity and sexual desire.
• Glutathione & Lycopene: Antioxidants that protect the skin from damage.
• Ester-axanthin: A powerful antioxidant, more potent than Vitamin C.
• West Hip Ratio: The ratio of the circumference of the waist to that of the hips.

Why Do Women Like Unattractive Men? A Scientific Breakdown

Historical Context: Evolution of Mate Selection

• Early Humans: In early human history, female apes primarily selected mates based on physical dominance and social status. The strongest and most socially dominant male was typically chosen.
• Bipedalism and Premature Birth: As humans evolved to walk on two legs, the pelvic bone narrowed, leading to premature births. Human babies are born with underdeveloped brains compared to other primates.
• Increased Vulnerability: Premature birth increased the vulnerability of both the mother and child, requiring greater paternal investment and protection.
• Shift in Mate Selection: This vulnerability led to a shift in female mate selection criteria. Women began to prioritize intelligence, resourcefulness, courage, social skills, and loyalty in a partner. They needed a mate who could protect and support them during their vulnerable state.
• Ice Age Pressures: The Ice Age further complicated mate selection, as larger and more complex social groups became necessary for survival. Choosing the right mate became even more critical.
• Neurological Evolution: Over time, female brains evolved to support more sophisticated and complex emotions, refining the mate selection process.

Brain Activity During Attraction: A Comparison

• Male Brain:
  • Visual Processing: When a man sees an attractive woman, the visual cortex and fusiform face area (FFA) quickly process the facial structure, symmetry, and beauty.
  • Emotional Response: The amygdala fires rapidly, creating excitement, and the nucleus accumbens releases dopamine, generating pleasure.
  • Hormonal Response: The hypothalamus releases testosterone, boosting masculine drive and encouraging the man to approach the woman.
  • Conscious Awareness: The man becomes consciously aware of his attraction after about 150 milliseconds.
  • Rationalization: The prefrontal cortex (PFC) then kicks in, considering emotions and motivating action to pursue the reward.
  • Key takeaway: Male attraction is instant, largely subconscious, and highly visual.
• Female Brain:
  • Visual Processing: The visual cortex and FFA process the face, but the amygdala shows a more neutral response compared to the male brain.
  • Rational Assessment: The information is then sent to the orbitofrontal prefrontal cortex and ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC), which perform a rational, social, and value-based analysis of the man.
  • Value Assessment: The woman assesses the man's confidence, success, energy levels, personality, and social status to determine his actual value.
  • Delayed Dopamine Release: There is no immediate dopamine rush or strong motivation to engage with the man.
  • Wait-and-See Approach: Women adopt a "wait and watch" approach, gathering more information before feeling attraction.
  • Key takeaway: Female attraction is initially more rational and calculated, focusing on assessing the man's value and potential.

Key Differences in Attraction

1. Emotional vs. Rational Processing:
   • Men process attraction in the deep, emotional, and primitive parts of the brain (amygdala, nucleus accumbens, hypothalamus).
   • Women use brain areas associated with rational decision-making.
2. Objectivity vs. Context:
   • Men are more objective in their attraction.
   • Women's attraction is highly dependent on context and circumstances.
3. Physical Attractiveness vs. Behavior:
   • Men focus on physical attractiveness, health, youthfulness, and child-bearing capacity.
   • Women focus on behavior, confidence, and displays of social status.
4. Straightforward vs. Multi-layered:
   • Men's attraction is straightforward.
   • Women's attraction is multi-layered, requiring emotional and social validation.
5. Image vs. Experience:
   • Men chase the image.
   • Women chase the experience.
6. Addiction vs. Evaluation:
   • Initial attraction in men triggers circuits similar to addiction.
   • Women's initial attraction is more evaluative and less addictive.

The Shift to Emotional Attraction in Women

• Building Connection: As a woman gets to know a man and sees masculine traits like ambition, confidence, courage, decisiveness, and emotional maturity, her emotional brain areas (amygdala, nucleus accumbens, ventral tegmental area) start to activate.
• Dopamine Spikes: These areas begin to release dopamine when she thinks about him, sees him, or spends time with him.
• Emotional Investment: Over time, the woman starts to feel the same deep emotional attraction that the man felt initially.
• Reduced Rationality: The rational parts of her brain become less active as her trust, security, and love grow.
• Falling in Love: This is when a woman starts to fall in love and may become irrational, even ignoring warnings from others.

The Role of Looks

• Secondary Importance: Looks are secondary for women. Even women who prioritize good looks still view them as a rational preference rather than a deep emotional attraction.
• Contextual Influence: In situations where little is known about a man, looks may play a slightly larger role, similar to judging a book by its cover.
• Overriding Factor: Better qualities can easily override looks.
• Confidence and Social Status: Good-looking men are often more confident, which is a trait that attracts women.

Conclusion

• Evolutionary Imperatives: Women prioritize strength, security, connection, and resources, while men prioritize fertility and nurturing traits.
• Attraction as a Force: Attraction is a powerful force that has driven human progress.
• Connection as the Goal: Ultimately, both men and women seek connection that transcends biology and time, making life worth living.
• Self-Worth over Looks: Men should focus on developing self-worth rather than obsessing over looks.
• Looks as a Criterion: Looks are just one criterion that can be easily overridden by other important qualities.
• Commitment as a Choice: Attraction is an instinct, but commitment is a choice.