What happens when women stop waiting | Sonam Garg Sharma | TEDxGreenfield Women

Key Concepts

• Delayed Gratification vs. Immediate Action: The central theme revolves around challenging the societal expectation for women to postpone their ambitions.
• Women’s Entrepreneurship – Personal & Professional: The speaker emphasizes the deeply personal nature of women starting businesses, intertwined with motherhood and family life.
• Support Systems: The critical role of spousal and familial support in enabling women to pursue their goals.
• Redefining Success: Challenging inherited definitions of success and advocating for women to define it on their own terms.
• The “Corridor Moment”: A pivotal moment of realization, often triggered by loss or hardship, that compels action.

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The Courage to Begin: A Reflection on Women, Ambition, and Defining Success

The speaker begins by highlighting a pervasive, unspoken expectation placed upon women: to wait – until circumstances are perfect, children are grown, or permission is granted. She immediately counters this notion, asserting that the future doesn’t arrive “someday,” but begins “now.” This core message is woven throughout her narrative, stemming from a deeply personal experience.

The Catalyst: Loss and a Call for Direction

Fifteen years prior, the speaker found herself in a hospital corridor while her father battled cancer. Despite having resources and good intentions, the incorrect treatment administered led to his passing. This experience was a stark lesson: having the means isn’t enough; correct direction is crucial. This realization sparked the initial idea for her venture – providing care with guidance, particularly for families navigating difficult times. She recognized a need for clarity and support beyond simply offering care.

Breaking from a “Perfect” Life

The speaker describes a life that appeared “perfect” on the surface: a supportive husband, a stable corporate job, and societal validation. However, this perceived perfection lacked fulfillment. She felt compelled to make decisions, not merely follow them, and to build something meaningful, especially in moments of crisis for others. This desire to contribute on a deeper level clashed with the societal pressure to remain in a secure, conventional role. She faced the common question: “Why take a risk? Why invite unnecessary troubles? Maybe wait for the right time?”

The Intertwined Realities of Motherhood and Ambition

The speaker candidly addresses the unique challenges faced by women entrepreneurs, emphasizing that the journey is profoundly personal. She began working just four days after a complicated delivery, not out of exceptional strength, but because “the world does not pause while a woman is healing.” She articulates a critical truth: “Your body heals on a different timeline while your ambition runs on a different timeline.” This disconnect often leaves women feeling torn and unsupported.

She stresses the importance of logistical support, exemplified by her husband’s unwavering belief in her ambition, providing practical assistance like childcare at 2 a.m. This support wasn’t merely emotional; it was a tangible enabling force.

A poignant anecdote illustrates the impact of her work-life balance on her daughter, who confessed loving her father “100%” and her “22%” due to her frequent absences. While painful, the speaker acknowledges this as a consequence of prioritizing her work and views it as an opportunity to demonstrate her presence, even if imperfect. She states, “Any day except that 22%. They are mine. I am trying to convert into more, but one moment at a time.”

Navigating Societal Expectations and Internal Doubts

The speaker confronts the societal judgment often leveled at working mothers, particularly regarding breastfeeding and childcare choices. She recounts facing subtle criticism from relatives who equated motherhood with a single, prescribed path. She powerfully counters this notion, stating, “Your child is not the sum of one decision. And you’re not a bad mother if you are building a life which includes your dream.”

She acknowledges the inherent difficulties of entrepreneurship – the repetition, pressure, and self-doubt – but emphasizes the growth, clarity, and courage it fosters. She highlights the double standard: a man pursuing ambitious dreams is seen as “visionary,” while a woman doing the same is labeled “selfish.” This disparity underscores the systemic barriers women face.

Redefining “Big” and Reclaiming Success

The speaker challenges the conventional notion of “making it big,” stating that it’s not a singular achievement but rather the impact one has on others. “Big is when my child watches me choosing purpose over fear.” “Big is something when a woman sees my journey and feels less lonely.” “Big is something when I stop apologizing for asking for more.” She advocates for women to reclaim the right to define success on their own terms, rejecting inherited or sanitized definitions.

Three Core Takeaways

The speaker concludes with three key principles:

1. There is no right time to begin. It is now. Procrastination fueled by waiting for ideal circumstances is a dream killer.
2. The pressure is real. Doubts are real. Loneliness is real. But so is growth, clarity and strength you didn't knew you yet have. Acknowledging the challenges is crucial, but recognizing the potential for personal development is equally important.
3. You don't need permission to begin. Wait does not make women ready. But yes, clarity and conviction does. Self-belief and a clear vision are more valuable than external validation.

The “Corridor Moment” Revisited

Returning to the image of the hospital corridor, the speaker emphasizes that this pivotal moment can be a catalyst for action, not a source of regret. She urges the audience to consider what they’ve been postponing and to ask themselves, “Who am I waiting to say yes?” She concludes by reiterating her central message: the future doesn’t begin “someday,” it begins “now.”

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Technical Terms/Concepts:

• Entrepreneurship: The process of designing, launching and running a new business, which often involves taking financial risks.
• Logistical Support: Practical assistance, such as childcare or household tasks, that enables someone to pursue their goals.
• Societal Expectations: The norms and beliefs held by a society about how individuals should behave.
• Ambition: A strong desire and determination to achieve success.
• Conviction: A firmly held belief or opinion.