"What do you do" is the worst question ever! here’s what to ask instead

Key Concepts:

• Boring introductory questions ("What do you do?", "How are you?", "How's it going?")
• "What do you do" diet (avoiding the question "What do you do?")
• Permission connection (giving someone permission to share what they want)
• Goal-oriented vs. non-goal-oriented individuals
• Self-narrative (understanding one's own or another's story)
• Character identification (relating to fictional characters)

Replacing Boring Questions:

The speaker argues that common introductory questions like "What do you do?", "How are you?", and "How's it going?" are boring and can lead to disliking people. The speaker challenges the audience to stop asking "What do you do?" for 30 days, calling it a "what do you do diet." The speaker posits that asking "What do you do?" implies asking about someone's worth and can be rude if someone isn't defined by their profession.

Alternative Questions:

1. "Working on anything exciting these days/recently?": This question provides "permission connection," allowing the other person to share what they're passionate about. If they want to discuss their job, they will; otherwise, they'll offer a more interesting response. This also provides a follow-up opportunity to ask about the exciting project later.
2. "What's your biggest goal right now?": This question reveals whether someone is goal-oriented. The speaker suggests that if someone dismisses goals ("I don't believe in goals"), they may not be compatible. If they are goal-oriented, it opens a conversation and provides a future follow-up point.

Self-Narrative Question:

1. "What book, movie, or TV character is most like you and why?": This question, while seemingly casual, reveals how someone sees themselves. The speaker emphasizes that how someone relates to characters, their values, and personality is how they perceive themselves. The speaker claims that people's answers to this question will be shocking.