The Lightning Method: Move From Stuck to Unstoppable | Rachel LaForce | TEDxBuckheadAveWomen

The Lightning Method: From Stuck to Unstoppable

Key Concepts:

• Chaos: Perpetual loop of action reinforcing the belief that fulfillment is unattainable.
• Core Beliefs: Fundamental ideas about ourselves, others, and the world.
• Catalyst: Event/experience realizing choices are ours to make.
• Research & Development (R&D): Process of making new choices, transitioning vulnerability to curiosity and fueling bravery.
• Transformation Equation: New Core Beliefs + Aligned Choices = Desired Reality
• Lightning Bolt: Comparative moment, seeing the gap closed between current and desired states.

1. Identifying Your Chaos

• Chaos is defined as "the perpetual loop of action that reinforces our belief, whether conscious or subconscious, that fulfillment can never be ours."
• It's not always loud or messy; often, it's quietly living according to pain, not desires.
• Reality consists of beliefs and choices; beliefs shape choices, and choices shape reality.
• Core beliefs are fundamental ideas about ourselves, others, and the world, shaping thoughts, feelings, and actions. Most are developed by age seven.
• Example: Rachel Leforce's people-pleasing, stemming from childhood experiences, led to self-doubt, alcohol dependence, and a cycle of chaos.
• Fear is often in the driver's seat until we consciously recognize an opportunity for change.

2. The Catalyst: Recognizing Choice

• A catalyst is defined as "an event or an experience that brings us the realization that choices are ours to make."
• Catalysts often resemble disasters (e.g., breakup, job loss, apartment fire). They force the realization that we can continue the cycle or break free.
• The catalyst is the realization that choices are ours to make, triggering the opportunity to choose a new path.
• Example: Declining a drink with a friend after a breakup marked the beginning of the end of Rachel's relationship with alcohol.
• Embrace the feeling of everything falling apart, because "everything lies on the other side of this."

3. Research and Development: Building Capability

• When ready to make choices aligned with desires, initial feelings are vulnerability, not confidence.
• R&D is the process of making new choices, strengthening over time.
• Analogy: The Sandlot gang trying various methods to retrieve a Babe Ruth-signed ball from behind a fence guarded by a large dog.
• R&D transitions vulnerability into curiosity, fueling bravery, and developing the new core belief that we are capable.
• Capability is knowing that "no matter the task, you will figure it out," i.e., self-trust.
• Capability is as valuable as confidence because confidence isn't constant, especially when trying something new.

4. The Transformation Equation

• The Transformation Equation is: New Core Beliefs + Aligned Choices = Desired Reality.
• Our entire reality consists of our beliefs and choices.
• R&D aligns beliefs and choices toward desired outcomes.
• It's in the new desired reality that we see how chaotic the old loops were, how vulnerable we were during the catalyst, and how expansive we became during R&D.

5. The Lightning Bolt: The Comparative Moment

• The lightning bolt is the comparative moment, seeing the closed gap from where you were to where you wanted to be.
• "The cost of living a life you desire is being willing to play at the edge of failure. You have to be willing to get caught trying."
• Example: Rachel being able to stand on stage sharing her experiences.
• It is worth it to build a life you desire.
• Even when you can't predict the future, you can bet on yourself and create a new one.

Conclusion:

The Lightning Method offers a practical framework for self-transformation by consciously identifying and breaking free from chaotic cycles, understanding core beliefs, utilizing catalysts for change, engaging in continuous research and development to build capability, and ultimately, aligning choices with new beliefs to create a desired reality. The method emphasizes self-trust and the willingness to embrace failure as part of the transformative journey.