The courage to seek | Dr. Ramah Jean Wagner | TEDxCincinnati

Key Concepts

Seeking: The act of actively searching for answers, healing, meaning, or a better way of life, especially when facing significant challenges. It is presented as an act of courage and strength, not weakness.
Faith: Defined as raw and defiant belief, the commitment to keep going despite not having all the answers. It provides strength for the next step when clarity is absent.
Fervor: The combination of courage and persistence, characterized by the drive to try "one more thing" even when exhausted or discouraged. It is described as "stubborn hope in motion."
Favor: Not luck or magic, but the belief in one's own worthiness of feeling better, peace, and possibility. It involves being open to noticing existing help, science, and community.
Transformation: The process of changing one's life when everything falls apart, driven by the act of seeking and supported by faith, fervor, and favor.
Growth: Not about returning to a past self, but about rising into one's intended potential, especially after experiencing setbacks.

Summary

The speaker recounts a period of profound personal suffering, lying on a couch for three days with intense physical pain (gut wrenching, swollen joints, burning hips) and emotional despair, feeling hollowed out by loss and disappointment. This low point, however, led to a pivotal decision: to "seek" whatever was necessary for healing, meaning, and a way forward, even without knowing what that entailed.

Personal Background and Breaking Point

The speaker comes from a family with a strong medical tradition, with a grandfather who was a chiropractor and a father who also practiced chiropractic medicine. As a child, the speaker was inspired by witnessing patients arrive in pain and leave healed. This led to an early aspiration to become a doctor, believing in established medical protocols and the science of the body. However, a traumatic event in college shattered this foundation, leading to a period of self-destruction characterized by unhealthy consumption habits. By the age of 24, the speaker was overweight, exhausted, and diagnosed with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, autoimmune disease, and depression. Despite being from a medical family, the speaker was unable to find a path back to health, highlighting a personal breaking point.

The Courage of Seeking

The speaker challenges the common perception of seeking as weakness, defining it instead as an act of courage and strength. It requires admitting a lack of answers, asking for help, and continuing to search despite fear. Strength, in this context, is not passive but emerges from the decision to seek. The "seeker" is characterized by the belief that "there has to be more than this" and the commitment to discover what that "more" means. Seeking can manifest in various ways, from working with professionals to traveling or starting from one's current situation.

Global Journey of Learning

The speaker's personal journey of seeking led to extensive travel and learning across the globe. Experiences included:

Ecuador and Peru: Sitting with people sharing traditional healing practices around firelight, emphasizing listening and understanding the universal human search for meaning, rather than replacing science with ceremony.
Tibet: Observing monks create and then sweep away intricate sand mandalas, illustrating that growth often involves releasing attachments.
Dakotas (Top Bar): Listening to prayers offered for others.
Jerusalem (Wailing Wall): Tucking a handwritten prayer into the ancient stones.
India: Engaging in silent meditation for hours, realizing that silence can reflect avoided issues.
Bhutan: Climbing Tiger's Nest.
Machu Picchu: Climbing the ancient citadel.
Spain: Visiting monasteries.

Throughout these experiences, the speaker encountered scientists, researchers, and practitioners from both traditional and unconventional backgrounds. A common thread among them was a shared curiosity about human adaptation, recovery, and growth, and the universal question: "How do we transform our lives when everything falls apart?"

The Three Pillars of Transformation: Faith, Fervor, and Favor

From these experiences, three core concepts emerged to define the speaker's transformative journey:

Faith: Described as "raw and defiant," it is the belief that fuels continued effort despite lacking answers. It provides the strength to take "one more step" when clarity is absent, rather than promising certainty.
Fervor: This is the combination of courage and persistence. It is the internal drive that pushes one to act at 4:00 a.m. when the mind suggests quitting. It manifests as "try one more thing," "read one more page," or "take one more small action," embodying "stubborn hope in motion."
Favor: This is not about luck or magic but about believing in one's own worthiness of feeling better, experiencing peace, and embracing possibility. Favor enables individuals to remain open to recognizing the help, science, and community that are already available.

These three elements – faith, fervor, and favor – formed the foundation of the speaker's personal transformation, with the courage to seek serving as the guiding compass.

Actionable Advice and Conclusion

The speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help for physical or mental health struggles, advising individuals to consult doctors, therapists, or trusted experts and not to face these challenges alone. The speaker acknowledges the instrumental role of dozens of professionals in their own journey.

The core message is that change rarely occurs through waiting; it comes to those who actively seek, remain curious, and stay open. For those experiencing pain, fear, or fatigue, the speaker offers a message of hope: "You're not done. You're not broken. You are becoming faith, fervor, and favor." The act of seeking is presented as the beginning of a new chapter. Growth is redefined not as returning to a past self but as "rising into who you are meant to become." The capacity to rise, seek, and find wholeness remains, even when life causes physical or emotional bruises.