The Confidence Myth: What They DON'T Teach You About Self-Belief

Key Concepts:

• Confidence as a byproduct of action, not a prerequisite.
• Fear and self-doubt as normal experiences, even for confident individuals.
• Confidence as domain-specific, not a universal trait.
• Genuine self-belief as a combination of self-trust, resilience, and action-orientation.

1. Debunking Confidence Myths

• The video aims to redefine confidence, moving away from common misconceptions.
• It challenges the idea that confidence is innate or requires the absence of self-doubt.

2. Myth #1: Confidence Must Precede Action

• Main Point: Confidence is not a prerequisite for action but a result of it.
• Example: Learning to ride a bike. Initial wobbliness and fear are overcome through practice, leading to confidence.
• Process: Take small, manageable steps. The feeling of confidence will follow.
• Key Statement: "Confidence is not the pre-requisite for action it's the byproduct of action."

3. Myth #2: Confident People Are Fearless

• Main Point: Confident people experience fear and self-doubt but act despite them.
• Example: A brave firefighter still feels fear running into a burning building.
• Reframing: Fear is not a stop sign but a signal that something important is at stake.
• Argument: Genuine confidence is the courage to move forward despite doubt.
• Key Statement: "Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear it's rather the courage to move forward even when that little voice of doubt is whispering or shouting in your ear."

4. Myth #3: Confidence Is a Universal Trait

• Main Point: Confidence is often domain-specific, built on competence and past successes in a particular area.
• Examples: A confident chef may be nervous giving a public speech; a confident public speaker may feel awkward at a networking event.
• Explanation: Confidence in speaking is built by speaking; confidence in social skills is built by socializing.
• Actionable Advice: Focus on building evidence of abilities in specific areas where confidence is lacking.
• Key Statement: "Confidence is often domain specific it's built on evidence of your competence and past successes in a particular area or field."

5. Defining Genuine Self-Belief

• Description: Genuine self-belief is a quieter, steadier internal knowing, characterized by:
  • Self-Trust: Believing in one's ability to figure things out, learn, and adapt.
  • Resilience: Knowing one can handle setbacks, learn from failures, and recover.
  • Action-Orientation: A belief that encourages trying rather than demanding perfection upfront.
• Process:
  • Consistently show up for yourself.
  • Take small actions.
  • Learn from experiences.
  • Recognize and celebrate growth.
• Key Statement: "Genuine self-belief is quieter than the bravado we often associate with confidence it's more like a steady internal knowing it's self-rust which is believing in your ability to figure things out to learn to adapt to grow even when you don't have all the answers right now resilience knowing you can handle setbacks and failures learn from them and get back up it's not about never failing it's about knowing you can rise again."

6. Actionable Challenge

• Challenge: Pick one small area where you want to feel more self-assured.
• Action: Take one tiny action to build evidence of your capability in that area.
• Examples: Speaking up in one meeting, initiating one conversation, trying one new recipe.

7. Synthesis/Conclusion

• The video debunks common myths about confidence, emphasizing that it's not a feeling to wait for, nor is it the absence of fear, nor is it a universal trait.
• It redefines confidence as genuine self-belief, which is built through action, resilience, and self-trust.
• The key takeaway is that courage comes before confidence, and taking small steps is crucial for building self-belief.
• The video encourages viewers to take action and build evidence of their capabilities in specific areas.
• Key Statement: "You don't have to be fearless you just have to be willing so take that first step you've got this."