The Becoming Benchmark | Chimezie Nwabueze | TEDxBAU Cyprus

Key Concepts:

• Personal Success: Shifting from external achievements to internal growth.
• Becoming vs. Doing: Prioritizing character development over task completion.
• Becoming Scorecard: A framework for self-assessment based on internal benchmarks.
• Self-Awareness: Reflecting on thoughts and actions.
• Courage: Taking action despite fear.
• Compassion: Treating others with kindness.
• Growth: Learning and bouncing back from setbacks.
• Internal Compass: Using reflection to gauge what truly matters.

1. The Illusion of Achievement-Based Fulfillment

• Many people experience emptiness even after achieving significant goals (job positions, degrees, material possessions).
• The initial excitement fades, leading to the realization that the achievement wasn't the "game changer" expected.
• Example: The speaker mentions working with teenagers in underfunded Nigerian schools, highlighting a boy who wasn't academically gifted but possessed strong leadership qualities and social intelligence. This led the speaker to question traditional measures of success.
• Quote: "Maybe we've been measuring the wrong things all along or maybe overlooking the things that are really important."

2. The Trap of Avoiding Failure

• The speaker's father instilled a fear of failure, leading to avoidance of challenging situations.
• Example: In university entrance exams (WAEC), the speaker dropped two subjects (economics and further mathematics) to avoid the risk of getting a "C" grade, prioritizing a perfect record over pursuing challenging but potentially more rewarding subjects.
• This decision later backfired when university courses required knowledge of further mathematics, leading to academic struggles.
• The speaker realized that avoiding failure cost them opportunities for growth and learning.

3. The Flawed Obsession with External Benchmarks

• Society is obsessed with KPIs, productivity trackers, performance reviews, social media metrics, awards, and achievements.
• These external benchmarks have become the primary measure of personal success.
• Example: Judging someone's success based on their number of social media followers or wealth.
• The speaker argues that society rewards "doing" and "achievements" while overlooking "becoming."
• Example: Tracking hours worked but neglecting time spent with loved ones; ticking off tasks but not listening to others.

4. Shifting the Focus to "Becoming"

• The speaker proposes a different lens for measuring success: focusing on who you are becoming.
• Instead of just having "to-do" lists, create "to-be" lists to reflect on personal growth.
• Success should be measured by growth in capacity, compassion, courage, integrity, grit, and kindness.
• Analogy: A tree is valued for its strong roots, shade, shelter, and fruits, not just its rapid growth.
• Quote: "What if the standard of success was never supposed to be achievements accomplishments and the things I acquire but the ways I am growing in capacity the ways I'm growing in compassion in courage in integrity in grits in kindness who I am becoming internally."

5. The Becoming Scorecard: A Practical Framework

• In 2017, the speaker received advice from a mentor to reflect on each day: "What did I learn today? How did I grow today?"
• This practice led to the development of the "Becoming Scorecard," a tool for self-assessment based on internal benchmarks.
• The scorecard involves choosing four benchmarks with internal anchors to assess personal growth.
• The speaker's four benchmarks:
  • Self-Awareness: Did I pause to reflect on my thoughts and actions?
  • Courage: Did I speak up or take a step forward despite fear?
  • Compassion: Did I treat someone with kindness, even when it wasn't convenient?
  • Growth: What did I learn today? How did I bounce back from setbacks?

6. Real-World Application and Community Feedback

• The speaker runs a community focused on accountability, growth, and support.
• Members were asked to reflect on the person they are becoming in the process of achieving their goals.
• Initially, people struggled to respond because they were used to focusing on targets and achievements.
• Example: A community member's response highlighted becoming someone intentional, disciplined, proactive, focused, organized, and consistent, showing up for both goals and personal growth.
• The speaker emphasizes that even if goals aren't met, the personal growth achieved along the way is valuable and fulfilling.

7. Conclusion: The Enduring Value of Character

• The speaker encourages viewers to reflect on who they are becoming, not just what they are achieving.
• External validations and benchmarks are transient, but character and personal growth are enduring.
• Quote: "When the highs and the joys of those external validations and benchmarks have gone your character the person you're becoming inside that's what stays with you That's what will give you the fulfillment when those highs have evaporated."
• The ultimate question: "Who am I becoming?"

Synthesis/Conclusion:

The video advocates for a fundamental shift in how we define and measure success. It argues that prioritizing internal growth and character development ("becoming") over external achievements ("doing") leads to greater long-term fulfillment. The "Becoming Scorecard" provides a practical framework for self-assessment based on internal benchmarks like self-awareness, courage, compassion, and growth. By focusing on who we are becoming, we can cultivate a more meaningful and sustainable sense of success that endures beyond fleeting external validations.