The Battle of Communication

Key Concepts

• Internal vs. External Communication: The core dichotomy of communication, distinguishing between what is perceived externally and what is generated internally.
• External Processing: The sensory input we receive from the environment and other people (e.g., facial expressions, tone of voice).
• Internal Processing: The content, message, and intent we wish to convey from our inner thoughts and feelings.
• Communication Imbalance: The tendency to overemphasize external cues and underdevelop the internal message.

The Internal-External Communication Battle

The fundamental cause of most communication problems lies in understanding a battle that occurs within us. This battle is between our external processing and our internal processing.

External Processing encompasses everything that our senses perceive. This includes observable cues such as:

• The frown on someone's face.
• Loud noises.
• The raised volume of someone's voice, indicating irritation.

Internal Processing refers to our content, our message, and what we genuinely want to share with the world. This is the message that would bring us satisfaction if we were to express it.

The Communication Imbalance

A common issue in communication is that individuals often overprocess the external – becoming overly focused on or reactive to the sensory information they receive. Simultaneously, they tend to underdevelop what they share from the internal – failing to articulate their own thoughts, feelings, and messages effectively. This imbalance leads to misunderstandings and communication breakdowns.

Synthesis/Conclusion

The primary takeaway is that effective communication hinges on recognizing and managing the interplay between external stimuli and internal messaging. To improve communication, one must consciously balance the attention given to processing external cues with the effort invested in developing and clearly articulating one's internal message. The tendency to be overly influenced by external factors at the expense of one's own internal content is a significant source of communication difficulties.