The Art Of Asking Questions | Dan Moulthrop | TEDxSHHS

TEDx TalksAbout 4 min readFeb 13, 2025Watch original
THE SUMMARYAI-generated

Key Concepts

  • Curiosity as the foundation of asking good questions and learning.
  • The importance of overcoming fear when asking questions.
  • Being genuinely curious about others' experiences and perspectives.
  • The power of asking the obvious question.
  • The impact of word choice in framing questions.
  • Striving for empathy when engaging with different experiences.
  • Being informed and knowledgeable about the subject.
  • Simplicity and directness in question formulation.
  • The value of "What's that like for you?" as a question.
  • The importance of graciousness when receiving answers.

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Curiosity

The speaker begins with a personal anecdote about interviewing a former Green Beret for a high school project on Vietnam veterans. Despite being a "skinny kid from the suburbs," he learned that "often people want to talk about the experiences that have shaped them," even painful ones. The key takeaway is: don't be afraid to ask questions.

The Art of Interviewing: Studs Terkel

The speaker highlights Studs Terkel as "probably the greatest living interviewer." Terkel's book, Working, is presented as a seminal work that explores not just what people do all day, but "how do you feel about what you do." The speaker emphasizes Terkel's "sense of curiosity about people and their experiences" and encourages the audience to "be curious about the world."

The Power of the Obvious Question: The Great Lakes Water Compact

The speaker recounts a story about interviewing State Senator Tim Grandell regarding the Great Lakes Water Compact. Despite widespread agreement on the compact, Grandell had concerns about private property rights. The speaker asked, "Is there any language that we could put inside the legislation… that would set your mind at ease?" This "obvious question" unlocked a compromise that had been previously unaddressed. The lesson: don't be afraid to ask the obvious question.

The Significance of Word Choice: Noel Celeste's Insight

The speaker shares an experience with Noel Celeste, emphasizing the importance of word choice in facilitating conversations. When trying to encourage a group to discuss meaningful topics, the question "What's your passion?" proved to be the key. This question "cracked it wide open," leading to a productive and engaging discussion. The takeaway: words matter when asking questions.

Striving for Empathy: Interviewing Ishmael Beah

The speaker describes the anxiety he felt before interviewing Ishmael Beah, a former child soldier. He knew he needed to ask Beah about his experiences with killing, a difficult and sensitive topic. The speaker emphasizes the need to "strive for empathy" when interviewing someone with vastly different experiences. Even when empathy is challenging, it's crucial to "reach across that difference and put yourself in that person's shoes."

Being Informed: Lessons from Allen Ginsberg and Merl Johnson

The speaker recounts interviewing Allen Ginsberg, who challenged him to avoid asking questions that had been asked before. This led to a night of intense research to ensure originality. Similarly, he cites Merl Johnson, who meticulously marshals facts before asking pointed questions at public forums. The lesson: be informed and knowledgeable about your subject.

Simplicity and Directness: The Wisdom of Stuart Scott

The speaker shares an anecdote about Stuart Scott, who advised a young reporter to "ask one" question at a time and "be simple." Scott emphasized that "you don't have to use a lot of words to show people how much you know." Sometimes, "the best question is why." The key takeaway: be simple in your questioning.

The Speaker's Favorite Question: "What's That Like For You?"

The speaker reveals his favorite question: "What's that like for you?" He clarifies that this is not a sarcastic inquiry but a sincere attempt to understand another person's experience. He believes this question is "very important" and should be asked more often.

Graciousness and Gratitude

The speaker concludes by emphasizing that an answer to a question is "a gift." He stresses the importance of being "gracious" when receiving someone's time and experience.

Synthesis/Conclusion

Asking good questions is a skill rooted in curiosity, empathy, and preparation. It involves overcoming fear, choosing words carefully, and striving for simplicity. The speaker's lessons, drawn from personal experiences and the examples of master interviewers, provide a framework for engaging in meaningful conversations and fostering deeper understanding. The ultimate goal is to connect with others, learn from their experiences, and appreciate the gift of their perspective.

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