Sheila Sim On Turbulent Childhood & Brother's Death With Neurodiverse Interviewers | The Assembly 2

Key Concepts

• Modeling Industry Pressures: Body image, weight standards, sample sizes, rejection, insecurity.
• Dietary Extremes: Crash diets, health consequences, importance of balanced nutrition.
• Childhood Trauma: Parental arguments, fear, loneliness, coping mechanisms, impact on adult relationships.
• Family Dynamics: Parental divorce, custody, father-daughter relationships, stepmother acceptance, sibling loss.
• Personal Growth and Healing: Therapy, positive psychology, self-acceptance, confidence building.
• Acting Career Transition: Late entry into showbiz, confidence from prior experiences, managing public feedback.
• Relationships: Dating apps, background checks, identifying a life partner, fast-paced relationships.
• Personal Values: Authenticity, emotional connection, preference for traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) over Western medicine due to past experiences.

Summary

This transcript features an interview with Sheila, a Singaporean top model and actress, who shares her personal journey and experiences. The conversation covers a wide range of topics, from the demanding nature of the modeling industry to her challenging childhood and her eventual path to self-acceptance and a successful acting career.

Modeling Career and Industry Challenges

Sheila began her modeling career at 16 and continued until she was 30. She highlights the intense pressures of the industry, including strict height, weight, and size requirements. She recounts an instance where she was told she was "too fat" despite not being so, illustrating the "cruelty of the modeling industry." This led her to engage in a dangerous crash diet of eating only one green apple a day for two weeks, resulting in significant weight loss but also paleness, weakness, and fainting. This experience marked the end of her dieting and a realization of the importance of healthy eating and energy levels over mere skinniness.

She also discusses the physical discomfort and risks associated with modeling, citing an experience with 19 cm heels on a zigzag stage in Indonesia. The heels were so large and unstable that she twisted her ankle and the shoe went sideways, leading to a phobia of high heels for a period. Furthermore, Sheila addresses the constant rejection faced during castings, often attending up to 10 auditions without securing a job. This, combined with the pressure to fit ideal measurements and sample size shoes (e.g., wearing size 39 shoes when she was a size 41), contributed to profound insecurity and self-doubt that affected her life for a long time. She only began finding confidence and security in the last couple of years.

Personal Growth and Healing

To cope with her insecurities, Sheila started seeing a therapist at 13 and later studied positive psychology, which she found beneficial in overcoming her insecurities and unanswered questions. She emphasizes that she is now in a much better place.

Transition to Acting and Public Scrutiny

Sheila entered the acting business at 30, which she considers a late but fortunate age. She believes her prior experiences in modeling helped her build confidence, making her less concerned about hurtful feedback or comments, which are often beyond her control. She acknowledges the higher exposure rate for actresses on TV and questions whether the pressure to be "prettier on screen" is greater.

Childhood and Family Background

Sheila's childhood was marked by constant arguments between her parents, covering topics from money and time to daily decisions. These arguments were sometimes physical, though her parents never harmed the children. She describes her childhood as a period of survival, living in fear, and feeling lonely despite having people around, due to a lack of deep connection and love. She found solace and safety at her grandmother's house.

Her parents divorced when she was 12, and she was given custody to her father. This period was difficult, especially as she went through puberty and hormonal changes. She recounts a shy experience of asking her father, whom she describes as a "gangster" and a "real tough manly man," to buy sanitary pads for her, highlighting his awkwardness but eventual willingness to help. Growing up with her father, she adopted a more objective and masculine way of speaking and became handy, fixing things herself. Their relationship later strengthened through long walks, which provided opportunities for conversation and emotional bonding.

She also discusses her initial difficult relationship with her stepmother, who is from China. Influenced by negative narratives about Chinese women scamming men, Sheila was judgmental and believed her stepmother was after her father's money. This led to frequent fights, with her father caught in the middle. Acceptance came through the "test of time" as she witnessed her stepmother's care for her father.

Sibling Loss and Grief

A significant part of Sheila's past involves her brother's battle with leukemia. At seven years old, she didn't fully grasp the severity of his illness. She donated bone marrow to him, which involved frequent hospital visits. The reality of his sickness only truly set in in her mid-twenties.

Her most traumatic memory is not being present when her brother passed away. She had volunteered to buy him LA Gear shoes, which they couldn't afford when he was alive, to be out of the hospital. Upon her return, he was gone. This remains her biggest regret, as she never got to say goodbye or express her love. She expresses a lingering distrust of Western medicine due to complications following the bone marrow transplant, preferring Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

Romantic Relationship

Sheila met her husband, Dion, on a dating app at 34, admitting she was "quite desperate" to meet someone. She wanted to connect on an "organic level" and felt dating apps allowed potential partners to see her without the immediate glamour of professional styling. Her relationship with Dion progressed rapidly: they started talking on WhatsApp the next day, met a week later, he got a ring three months later, proposed six months later, and they married within a year.

She conducted thorough background checks on Dion, noting his honesty in using his real name and the presence of his family and friends' pictures on his profile. A pivotal moment in their relationship was a trip to Indonesia to climb Mount Jani. Despite freezing and Dion pulling his back, he prioritized her comfort, giving her his jacket and carrying her bag. This act of care solidified her decision to marry him.

On-Screen Kiss

Sheila shares that her first on-screen kiss was with a Taiwanese actress named Patricia in the movie "Gilang." She had previously stated to the production team that she would not engage in on-screen kissing, but she agreed to this particular kiss because it was with a woman. She also mentions receiving various kisses (cheek, forehead, nose, chin) in the show "Emerald Hill" but not on the lips, except for the kiss with Patricia.

Conclusion

The interview concludes with Sheila expressing gratitude for the opportunity to be vulnerable and share her story. She is invited to demonstrate a catwalk, which she does with enthusiasm, inviting others to join her. The session highlights Sheila's resilience, her journey of overcoming significant personal challenges, and her candidness in discussing sensitive topics.