Reel Love vs. Real Love | Anika Patton | TEDxJenks Youth

Key Concepts:

• Romantic film media influence
• Adolescent perceptions of romantic relationships
• Unrealistic expectations in romance
• Internalization of romantic ideals
• Dissatisfaction in real relationships
• Romance tropes
• Communication in relationships
• Idealized partner expectations
• Love as a choice vs. a feeling
• Chivalry and soulmate beliefs
• Examining and questioning expectations

Research Question and Motivation:

The presenter discusses her personal experience of reaching adulthood without experiencing romance and questions why. She notes the common explanation of "unrealistic expectations" stemming from fairy tale love stories and explores how romantic film media influences these expectations, leading to the research question: "To what extent does film romantic film media affect adolescent perceptions of romantic relationships?"

Impact of Romantic Film Media:

• Internalization of Beliefs: A study at the University of New Hampshire Durham found that viewing romantic film media leads to internalizing beliefs like "love conquers all" and "soulmates are destined to be together."
• Dissatisfaction in Relationships: A study at Appalachian State University revealed that internalizing romanticized ideals can cause dissatisfaction in real relationships.
• Examples: The presenter references films like Twilight, The Notebook, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days to illustrate the gap between idealized romance and the reality of dating (awkward small talk via dating apps). She also mentions wanting a "white house with blue shutters" or a "boom box serenade" as examples of unrealistic expectations.

Survey Methodology and Findings:

• Survey Design: A survey was conducted among high school students (grades 9-12) to identify a relationship between romantic film media consumption and attitudes towards specific romance statements.
• Film Selection: A list of 30 popular films in the romance genre/subgenre was used.
• Romance Statements: 12 romance statements were rated on a five-point Likert scale (strongly disagree to strongly agree).
• Categorization: Students were divided into three groups based on the number of films viewed: under 11 films, 11-20 films, and at least 21 films.
• Results: Students who viewed 11-20 films had the most positive attitudes towards romance statements. Those who viewed under 11 films had the most negative attitudes. Those who viewed at least 21 films were in between. This suggests that moderate exposure to romantic film media is associated with more positive romantic ideals.

Interview Data and Common Themes:

• Qualitative Data: Students were interviewed to elaborate on their survey responses and romantic experiences.
• Coding: Interview data was coded to identify common themes.
• Unrealistic Tropes: Many students believed romantic film media created unrealistic tropes, such as "man of the household," "frail women," "knight in shining armor," "abusive tropes," "toxic tropes," and "pregnancy tropes."
• Simplified Communication: Romantic film media often portrays simple communication, making it seem like miscommunications are easily solvable, which is unrealistic.
• Idealized Partner: Romantic film media often idealizes the "perfect partner," making it difficult to define what people want in their own relationships.
• Quote: "Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice." This quote highlights the misconception that romance is about finding someone who perfectly fits a checklist, rather than building a connection and growing together.

Romance Statements with Consistent Attitudes:

• Positive Attitudes (Across All Groups):
  • "I believe that guys should pay for dinner on a first date."
  • "I believe that love can come in unexpected or untraditional ways."
  • "I believe I have a soulmate."
• Negative Attitude (Across All Groups):
  • "I believe that a couple should break up when facing troubles and reunite later on stronger than before."

Personal Reflection and Conclusion:

The presenter connects the research to her own fear of romantic relationships due to the pressure of meeting expectations. She concludes that instead of abandoning expectations, individuals should examine and question their origins, considering whether the film media they consume is helpful or harmful. She advocates for focusing on real connections and the kind of love one deserves, rather than comparing relationships to Hollywood portrayals. The final message is about figuring out romance "one real connection at a time."