Our Fostering & Adoption Journey: "Family Is In The Heart" | Dear Singapore

Key Concepts

• Foster Parenting
• Adoption Process
• Multicultural Identity
• Safe Home Environment
• Reprioritization of Family
• Racial Harmony Day
• Chongam (Cheongsam)
• Malay Indian Muslim

The Essence of Family: Beyond Biological Ties

The video opens by introducing a child from a vulnerable background, for whom "very little information has been shared," beyond the crucial need for "a safe home." Nazarin, 36, and Nisam, 52, define family as extending "beyond biological ties," rooted "in the heart where love and trust are spread and challenges are embraced with grace." Nazarin, who works as a part-time school counselor and runs her own private counseling practice, emphasizes that "home should be a place where everyone feels safe, where they can express themselves, talk about anything under the sun." Nisam advises the importance of rest and gradual progress, stating, "Your body needs the rest. You need to pause. All right. Right. So, do it gradually."

Journey to Adoption: From Fostering to Forever Home

The couple's journey began as foster parents "about a couple of years back." Their path to adoption materialized when one of their foster children became available for adoption. They were approached and asked if they were "keen to adopt her." A strong mutual connection was already established, as "she was very fond of us as much as we got fond of her." This deep bond led them to perceive the opportunity as a "godsend blessing," prompting their decision to "go for the adoption."

Upon finalization of the adoption process, the social worker provided them with a detailed "presentation like a little story about her from birth till the time she came to our home." This narrative highlighted the child's early life, including "where you stayed in different home and it was hard sometime." A particularly poignant moment from her story, when she was three years old, was recounted: "today I I have have found found my my forever forever home home." The parents plan to share this story with their daughter, explaining that "she has two mommies and she does have her biological mommy but we do not knew about her. You only knew that you needed a safe home to be." The child's young age at the time of her arrival facilitated an easier adaptation to her new family and household settings.

Nurturing Identity and Multiculturalism

The parents, conversant in English and Tamil, actively nurtured their daughter's linguistic development, leading her to "slowly pick up spoken Tamil" and become "quite fluent in it." This rich cultural exposure has allowed her to coin a unique self-identity: "I am a Malay Indian Muslim."

A recent example of her multicultural upbringing was during "racial harmony day in school," where she "actually dressed up in Chongam" (Cheongsam). This prompted a family member to remark, "born as a Malay raised as an Indian wearing a chonga. She's indeed multicultural child." The parents firmly believe in instilling universal values, stating, "Doesn't matter what color we are, what race we are, what language we we are, we instill the good upon one another."

Parenting Philosophy: Safety, Growth, and Resilience

Their daughter is described as a "sports person" who "likes things that's active and get her to move around." While Nazarin expresses concern about accidents, stating, "I'm extra very worried of like accidents and like I don't want her to fall," Nisam offers a balanced perspective: "it will be fine to make small mistakes, learn from the mistakes and sometimes if you feel that small pain, you'll be extra cautious."

The guiding principle for their family life is "Our home should be a safe place," which serves as their "daily mantra guiding everything we did." They actively "seize every opportunity to foster a deep sense of belonging" and are proud that their home has become "a safe haven for our daughter."

Balancing Challenges and Making Sacrifices

The couple acknowledges the demands of living in Singapore, where "the corporate race is there," making them "quite stretched." However, they affirm that it is "still doable" through "repprioritizing our priorities so that a child can benefit taking those small sacrifices." They recognize that "balancing work and family life is not an easy fit."

Conclusion: Enabling a Full Life

The video concludes with a powerful message: "Every child brought into this world deserves the opportunity to live life to the fullest." The parents advocate for becoming "enablers," committed to "nurturing them to be good humans embraced in love, grounded in safety, and free to hope." Their story exemplifies how love, trust, and a safe environment can transcend biological ties to create a thriving family unit, fostering a child's unique identity and potential.