No One Talks About How Confidence Really Happens (Here’s the Truth) I @craiggroeschel

Key Concepts:

• Presence: The ability to make others feel at ease.
• People Skills: The ability to connect with others through conversation and likability.
• Serving Others: Focusing on making others feel comfortable and valued.

The Importance of Conversation and People Skills

The speaker acknowledges underestimating the significance of conversation and people skills early in their career. They recount a specific instance where they pitched a TV show to a major studio and, despite the idea being accepted, the pitch ultimately failed due to their lack of presence.

The Pivotal Moment: The Failed TV Show Pitch

The speaker describes a critical moment when their TV show pitch was rejected. The studio executives stated they didn't believe the speaker had the "presence to carry a show." This rejection prompted the speaker to question the meaning of "presence." The speaker highlights the awkwardness of the initial interaction, emphasizing that their inability to make small talk or be likable and credible negatively impacted the perception of their idea.

Redefining Presence: From Impressing to Serving

Initially, the speaker believed presence was about impressing people. However, they later realized that true presence is about making others feel at ease. This realization marked a significant shift in their understanding. The speaker emphasizes that presence is a skill that can be developed and that it is not about personal achievements or impressive statistics.

Presence as a Skill: Focusing on Others

The speaker underscores that presence is not about self-promotion but about serving others. It involves shifting the focus from oneself to the other person or people in the interaction. The key is to create an environment where others feel comfortable and valued. The speaker highlights the importance of getting "out of my own head" and focusing on how to make others feel at ease.

Conclusion: The Power of Other-Centeredness

The main takeaway is that presence, a crucial element for success in various fields, is not about self-importance but about making others feel comfortable and valued. This requires developing people skills and focusing on serving others rather than impressing them. The speaker's personal experience underscores the importance of these skills and the transformative power of shifting one's focus from self to others.