New book spotlights grandparents raising children

Key Concepts

• Grand Families: Households where grandparents or other relatives serve as the primary caregivers for children.
• Generations United: An advocacy organization focused on supporting intergenerational programs and grand families.
• Deficit-Based Perspective: The common societal tendency to view grand families solely through the lens of tragedy, crisis, or absent parents rather than resilience.
• Systemic Barriers: Legal, financial, and logistical hurdles faced by caregivers, often triggered by sudden, unplanned custody transitions.
• Kinship Care: The practice of placing children with relatives rather than in the traditional foster care system, which generally leads to better developmental outcomes.

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1. Overview of Grand Families

There are over 2.5 million children in the United States living in households where grandparents are the primary caregivers. These families act as a critical safety net, preventing children from entering the foster care system or facing outcomes like homelessness, unemployment, or substance abuse. Donna Butts, author of Grand Families: Stories of Children and the Loving Relatives who raised them, emphasizes that these families are defined by their resilience and the unconditional love provided by caregivers who often sacrifice their own retirement and lifestyle to ensure a child's success.

2. Real-World Case Studies

• Adam Otto: Raised by his paternal grandparents, Jack and Annie Otto, after his father passed away when he was nine. Despite facing disciplinary issues and social challenges in school, the stability and unconditional love provided by his grandparents allowed him to flourish, eventually earning a graduate degree and achieving professional stability. He notes that without this familial support, he likely would have become a victim of the opioid epidemic.
• The Kansas City Grandmother: An example of the sudden, unplanned nature of grand families. After downsizing to a one-bedroom condo and planning for a quiet retirement, she was suddenly granted custody of two grandchildren, forcing an immediate lifestyle shift and the sacrifice of her personal plans.
• Adrianne: A caregiver who spent over $100,000 of her retirement savings and appeared in court 127 times to secure legal custody of her grandson, illustrating the extreme financial and legal burdens placed on these families.

3. Challenges and Obstacles

• Legal and Logistical: Custody arrangements often occur in the middle of the night during crises. Grandparents frequently struggle to navigate complex legal systems to gain formal custody.
• Financial Strain: Many caregivers are on fixed incomes. Rising costs of living, combined with the expenses of raising children, often force them to mortgage homes or deplete retirement savings.
• Resource Access: Families rely heavily on social safety nets like TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families), SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), and Medicaid/ACA-related coverage. Advocacy groups like Generations United are concerned that cuts to these programs directly threaten the stability of grand families.

4. Key Arguments and Perspectives

• Reframing the Narrative: Donna Butts argues against the "deficit model." Instead of focusing on why the family came together (the tragedy), society should focus on the "cultural strength" and "resilience" of the caregivers.
• Superiority of Kinship Care: Research and testimony suggest that children raised by relatives fare significantly better than those in the foster care system. Kinship care provides:
  • Stability: Children do not "bounce" between foster homes.
  • Identity: Children maintain connections to their family history and culture.
  • Unconditional Support: Unlike foster care, where a child might "age out" of the system, grand families provide a permanent, lifelong support structure.

5. Notable Quotes

• Adam Otto: "I could never make a mistake that was too much for them to like, help me see my way through... I think you can make something beautiful and powerful and resilient out of something that's tragic."
• Donna Butts: "One of the most important things we can give children is roots and love... [Children in grand families] know what their family history is. They know what their culture is... they can age out of his system but never out of a family."

6. Synthesis and Conclusion

The rise of grand families represents a vital, yet under-supported, social structure in the United States. While these caregivers provide an essential service by keeping children out of the foster system and fostering long-term success, they face significant systemic challenges. The primary takeaways are:

1. Policy Protection: Continued funding for TANF, SNAP, and healthcare is essential to prevent the financial collapse of these households.
2. Social Recognition: There is a need to shift the public perception of grand families from "crisis-driven" to "resilience-driven."
3. Long-term Impact: The investment made by grandparents in their grandchildren yields high returns in the form of stable, educated, and healthy adults who might otherwise have faced dire life outcomes.