My parents are deaf—and it matters less than you think | Matthew Cooper | TEDxUTulsa

Key Concepts

• KODA (Child of Deaf Adults): Individuals with hearing parents who are deaf.
• Little ‘d’ deaf: Individuals with hearing loss who do not identify with Deaf culture or use ASL.
• Big ‘D’ Deaf: Individuals who identify with Deaf culture, use ASL, and view deafness as a cultural identity.
• ASL (American Sign Language): A complete, complex language with its own grammar and syntax, distinct from English.
• Deaf Culture: A distinct culture with its own history, art, social norms, and community, centered around ASL and shared experiences.
• Collectivist Culture: A culture emphasizing group cohesion and mutual support, as seen within the Deaf community.

Growing Up Between Two Worlds: A KODA’s Perspective

This presentation details the unique experience of growing up as a Child of Deaf Adults (KODA), challenging societal perceptions of deafness and highlighting the richness of Deaf culture. The speaker shares personal anecdotes and insights, interwoven with academic perspectives, to illuminate the complexities of navigating two distinct worlds.

Early Experiences & Identity Formation

The speaker recounts realizing their family was “different” at age six when encountering hearing parents for the first time. Their initial assumption – that all parents communicate verbally – was challenged, leading to the discovery that their parents are deaf. This revelation, framed as a neutral explanation (“Dad, and I can’t. We’re deaf. You are a KOD”), contrasts with how society often views deafness as a limitation. The speaker emphasizes that their childhood felt “normal” from their perspective, and it was others who framed their family as unusual.

The KODA Experience: Bridging Two Communities

The speaker addresses the common questions and misconceptions surrounding growing up with deaf parents, such as inquiries about their ability to drive, read, or enjoy music. They highlight the absurdity of these questions, emphasizing the normalcy of their upbringing. As a KODA, they occupy a unique position as a member of both the hearing and Deaf communities, sometimes feeling fully integrated into neither. This experience is likened to that of children of immigrants, as described by France Grasheen in A Life of Two Languages (1982), who navigate both a home language and a dominant societal language. Paul Preston, a KODA himself, articulated this duality in his 1994 book, stating, “We are neither deaf nor hearing. We are both deaf and hearing.”

Understanding Deafness: “Little d” vs. “Big D”

The presentation clarifies the distinction between “little d” deaf and “Big D” Deaf. “Little d” deaf individuals experience hearing loss but may not identify with Deaf culture or use ASL, potentially viewing their hearing loss as a disability. “Big D” Deaf individuals embrace Deaf culture, utilize ASL, and view deafness as a cultural identity.

The Richness of Deaf Culture

The speaker defines culture as “the customary beliefs, social forms, material traits of a racial, religious, or social group” (Miriam Webster) and demonstrates how Deaf people fulfill this definition. Deaf culture encompasses a shared history, art, media, theater, and a strong sense of community fostered through local deaf clubs and organizations. It’s described as a collectivist culture, similar to Native American tribes, where members actively support each other by sharing information about “deaf-friendly” businesses. Residential schools for the deaf are identified as crucial spaces for cultural transmission, where deaf children first encounter ASL and connect with peers. A significant statistic is presented: 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents, often leading to isolation and a stronger connection with the Deaf community.

ASL: A Unique and Complex Language

The presentation debunks the common misconception that ASL is simply “English on the hands.” Drawing on the work of Dr. William Stokoe in the 1960s, the speaker explains that ASL possesses its own distinct syntax and grammar. ASL utilizes conceptual and abstract thinking, employing space to convey meaning related to distance, time, and contrast. The importance of ASL as the cornerstone of Deaf culture is emphasized, while acknowledging the barriers to access in mainstream society.

Healthcare Disparities & The Need for Qualified Interpreters

A poignant example illustrates the challenges faced by deaf individuals in accessing essential services. The speaker recounts a medical emergency involving their parent, where it took 48 hours to secure a qualified, in-person interpreter despite being in Tulsa, not a rural area. The hospital initially offered an iPad with a remote interpreter, which the speaker deemed inadequate and convenient only for the hearing community. The speaker argues against the expectation that KODAs should interpret for their parents in sensitive situations like medical emergencies, as it compromises their ability to be supportive family members. They draw a parallel to the provision of interpreters for speakers of other languages, questioning why deafness is often framed as a disability requiring family members to fill the gap. The speaker asserts that Deaf people are not disabled, and their deafness does not inherently constitute a disability.

Challenging Stigma & Celebrating Diversity

The speaker shares experiences of witnessing judgment directed towards their parents due to their deafness, highlighting the emotional toll of such encounters. Despite these challenges, their family lived a full and normal life, participating in all the activities enjoyed by hearing families. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the value of their unique perspective as a KODA, having gained a deep understanding and appreciation for both cultures. They advocate for inclusivity and connection, suggesting learning basic ASL as a starting point. They recommend the Oklahoma School for the Deaf’s free online ASL classes.

Notable Quote:

“We are neither deaf nor hearing. We are both deaf and hearing.” – Paul Preston, KODA and author.

Conclusion:

The presentation powerfully advocates for a shift in perspective regarding deafness, moving away from a deficit-based model towards an appreciation of Deaf culture as a vibrant and valuable part of society. It underscores the importance of accessible communication, qualified interpreters, and challenging societal biases to foster true inclusivity and celebrate the diversity of human experience. The speaker’s personal narrative serves as a compelling call to action, encouraging listeners to learn more about ASL and embrace a more inclusive world.