Mindful Leadership SS3 #7 | Buông bỏ cái "tôi" để lãnh đạo bằng yêu thương | TS. Thanh Phượng

Key Concepts

• Ba vòng tròn kiểm soát (Three Circles of Control): A framework to categorize worries into those with no control, partial control, and full control.
• Nội lực (Inner Strength/Resilience): The internal capacity to manage external pressures and stress.
• Cái tôi tự cao (Ego/Arrogance): An inflated sense of self-importance that hinders growth and relationships.
• Nhận thức về bản thân (Self-awareness): Understanding one's own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
• Tâm trí, Trí tuệ, Tiềm thức (Mind, Intellect, Subconscious): Components of the inner world that influence thoughts, actions, and experiences.
• Tâm ấn (Imprints/Beliefs): Deeply ingrained beliefs formed from past experiences, influencing current behavior.
• Ốc đảo bình yên (Oasis of Peace): An internal space of calm and well-being that can be accessed through conscious effort.
• Lãnh đạo tỉnh thức (Mindful Leadership): A leadership approach that integrates self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and inner peace.
• Hạnh phúc trước, thành công sau (Happiness First, Success Follows): A philosophy that prioritizes inner well-being as a foundation for achievement.

Summary

This episode of "Mindful Full Leadership" on The Quốc Khánh Show features Dr. Nguyễn Thị Thanh Phượng, a lecturer at Inner Space, a mental health center. Dr. Phượng shares her journey from a successful career in education and international foundations to her current role, emphasizing the importance of inner strength and mindful living.

The Shift from Education to Mental Well-being

Dr. Phượng, with a background in education, including leadership roles at the Vietnam Education Foundation and the University of Arizona, explains her transition to working full-time at Inner Space. While her previous work provided valuable skills and methods, she felt a "void" and a sense of forgetting herself amidst the demands of life. Inner Space offered her a path to discover her true self and learn how to serve others while maintaining her own energy and radiating positivity. She found that her previous roles, while successful, sometimes led to energy depletion and a lack of creativity, highlighting a deficiency in mental and emotional self-care.

Redefining Success and the Wake-up Call

Dr. Phượng elaborates on the limitations of defining success solely by external achievements like finances, career, or relationships. She recounts a near-fatal accident where she fell asleep while driving, a stark realization that she lacked even the basic "happiness of a normal sleep." This incident, despite her successful career and income, prompted her to question the purpose of her life and the meaning of her achievements without her own presence. A subsequent retreat offered temporary peace, but the pressures of her job at the Vietnam Education Foundation led her to seek further answers.

The Three Circles of Control and Inner Strength

Her search led her to Inner Space and a program called "Sống Đẹp" (Living Beautifully). The first tool introduced was the "Three Circles of Control."

• Circle 3 (No Control): Situations beyond our influence, like politics or traffic. Focusing energy here is draining.
• Circle 2 (Partial Control): Situations where we have some influence but not complete control, such as educating a child or dealing with noisy neighbors. This requires acceptance and understanding.
• Circle 1 (Full Control): Our own thoughts, decisions, and actions. This is where energy should be focused.

Dr. Phượng emphasizes that many perceived external pressures are amplified by a lack of inner strength (nội lực). She uses the example of the COVID-19 pandemic: while the external pressure was the same for everyone, individuals with strong inner resources found ways to engage in meaningful activities, while others succumbed to fear. Inner strength, she explains, is cultivated internally and is crucial for managing stress.

Overcoming the Ego and Cultivating Self-Awareness

A significant part of Dr. Phượng's journey involved confronting her ego (cái tôi tự cao). She realized that her past behaviors, such as expecting others to conform to her will or feeling inadequate around more accomplished individuals, stemmed from an inflated or deflated ego. This led to suffering and strained relationships. Through Inner Space, she learned that everyone is unique and valuable. This realization improved her relationships, allowing her to appreciate and learn from others, regardless of their position. She now views her roles, like that of a lecturer, not as positions of authority but as opportunities to share and learn collaboratively.

The process of letting go of the ego was not immediate but a gradual journey. She shares an anecdote about getting angry at a malfunctioning printer, realizing later that her anger stemmed from an expectation of perfect service, a manifestation of her ego. This incident led to negative annual performance reviews, highlighting how one negative event can overshadow many good deeds. She learned that true strength lies in accepting imperfections and focusing on solutions rather than anger.

The Power of Intention and Inner Peace

Dr. Phượng stresses the importance of intention (ý định) and inner peace (bình an). She advocates for setting a positive intention before engaging in any activity, such as "I am peaceful" or "I am love." This practice, she explains, influences our thoughts, actions, and even the energy we bring to tasks like cooking, making the food more nourishing. She uses the analogy of a fish thriving in water, its natural environment, to illustrate that peace is our natural state, while anger is an acquired, unnatural emotion.

She introduces the concept of the mind, intellect, and subconscious (tâm trí, trí tuệ, tiềm thức). The mind is like a screen where thoughts are displayed. The intellect evaluates these thoughts, and the subconscious stores our experiences, forming our beliefs and habits. By consciously choosing positive thoughts and intentions, we can reprogram our subconscious and cultivate desired traits like peace and strength. She demonstrates this with a simple experiment where saying "I am strong" increases physical strength, while saying "I am weak" diminishes it.

The Role of Inner Space and its Methodology

Inner Space provides methods to manage our inner world. Dr. Phượng explains that negative thoughts and emotions are natural but can be managed by understanding their origin and choosing to focus on positive ones. She highlights the concept of "tâm ấn" (imprints), which are deeply ingrained beliefs that can either nurture or hinder us. Replacing limiting beliefs with nurturing ones, through consistent positive thinking and practice, is key to personal transformation.

She shares a powerful example of a mother struggling with her twin daughters. Through Inner Space, she learned to shift her focus from her daughters' perceived flaws to their inherent strengths and unique "discs of memory" (tiềm thức). This shift in perspective transformed her interactions and brought peace to the family.

The Interplay of Success and Happiness

Dr. Phượng challenges the conventional formula of "effort -> success -> happiness." Instead, she proposes "happiness -> effort -> success." By prioritizing happiness and inner peace, individuals become more enthusiastic, resilient, and attractive to collaborators, leading to easier success. She emphasizes that happiness is not a destination but a continuous journey and our inherent nature.

Practical Applications and Scientific Basis

The teachings at Inner Space are grounded in various scientific principles, including Einstein's energy laws and Dr. Masaru Emoto's research on water crystals. Emoto's experiments show how positive intentions (like gratitude) create beautiful water crystal structures, while negative ones (like hate) create chaotic ones. This illustrates how our thoughts and emotions impact our physical bodies, which are largely composed of water.

Dr. Phượng also touches upon the concept of "ốc đảo bình yên" (oasis of peace), an internal sanctuary accessible through mindfulness. She suggests that even busy individuals can cultivate this inner calm through short, regular practices. She also mentions the "Traffic Control" app, which reminds users to pause and reconnect with their inner peace every hour.

Addressing Challenges and Offering Hope

Dr. Phượng acknowledges that the journey to inner peace and happiness is not without challenges, primarily distraction (mất tập trung). She cites research indicating that human attention spans are shorter than those of goldfish. However, she emphasizes that with conscious effort and clear intentions, focus can be improved.

She concludes by offering a powerful metaphor: life is like a large white canvas with a small black dot. We often focus on the dot (challenges), neglecting the vast canvas (our achievements and potential). She encourages individuals to accept themselves, recognize their capacity for change, and seek support from Inner Space to cultivate inner strength and enjoy their life's journey.

The episode also touches upon the importance of forgiveness and high-energy responses in interactions, highlighting that holding onto resentment hinders happiness. She suggests that leaders, especially in demanding fields like healthcare, can benefit immensely from mindful practices to reduce stress, improve decision-making, and foster better relationships with colleagues and patients. The concept of "Lãnh đạo tỉnh thức" (Mindful Leadership) is gaining traction, with initiatives already underway in the healthcare sector.