Love With Muscular Dystrophy: Our Unconventional Story | On The Red Dot

Key Concepts

• Shakota-Mary-Tooth Disease (SMTD): A degenerative neuromuscular condition causing muscle weakness.
• Independent Living with Disability: Navigating daily life and relationships with physical limitations.
• Dating with Disability: Challenges and successes in finding romantic connection.
• Caregiving & Partnership: Balancing personal needs with the responsibilities of supporting a partner with a disability.
• Career Transition: Shifting professional paths to accommodate life changes and personal goals.
• Accessibility & Adaptation: Modifying environments and routines to support independent living.

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From Banking to Belonging: A Journey of Love, Resilience, and Adaptation

This narrative details Aaron’s life journey, from a career in banking to facing a progressive disability, finding love with Yenshin, and building a life together in Singapore. It’s a story of resilience, adaptation, and the power of connection.

Early Life & Diagnosis

Aaron worked in the banking industry for seven years before taking a sabbatical in 2013 to pursue his passion for music. He transitioned into music teaching, both in schools and privately. However, his life took a significant turn with the onset of Shakota-Mary-Tooth Disease (SMTD), a form of muscular dystrophy. Initially, he experienced no limitations, participating in typical childhood activities. However, in his 20s, he began to lose the ability to stand from a seated position. In 2009, his family emigrated to Canada, where he found work in audio tech support. The strain on his father, who drove him to work daily, prompted a search for more sustainable solutions.

Return to Singapore & Initial Challenges

In 2017, Aaron’s sister-in-law suggested returning to Singapore. He moved back in 2018, but without a permanent residence. His mobility was declining; walking long distances and climbing stairs became increasingly difficult. He ultimately moved into Cheshire Home, a residential facility for individuals with physical disabilities, in November 2018. This was a significant adjustment, as it involved communal living arrangements, including shared bathrooms and toileting facilities. He initially expressed to the admissions committee that he would only leave Cheshire Home if he found a partner, acknowledging the low probability of this happening.

Career & The Search for Connection

Aaron’s initial priority upon entering Cheshire Home was securing employment. In May 2019, he landed a job at Apple Retail, a source of immense joy. However, the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020 forced him back into isolation at Cheshire Home. This period led him to revisit dating apps, which he had previously tried without success. He had resigned himself to being single nearing the age of 35.

Meeting Yenshin & Building a Relationship

While using dating apps, Aaron connected with Yenshin, discovering they had mutual friends from the same church (Cornerstone). He was initially apprehensive, having experienced “ghosting” on previous dating attempts. Yenshin, however, was drawn to his bravery in relocating to Singapore independently. Their online conversations continued, evolving into admiration and eventually, romantic feelings.

Yenshin recounted seeing his profile description mentioning a physical condition but lacking photos, prompting her to continue the conversation out of kindness. Their first meeting occurred seven months after they began chatting, following one of Aaron’s doctor’s appointments. Aaron described feeling self-conscious, comparing himself to a “Russian tank with a broken leg in a cast and on a wheelchair.” Despite this, Yenshin was receptive and agreed to a second date.

Their dating life involved adaptations. They focused on activities like walks, avoiding strenuous sports. Yenshin often walked slightly behind Aaron, accommodating his slower pace. They faced stares from others, which Aaron initially found bothersome but eventually learned to ignore. A significant milestone was Aaron’s request for Yenshin’s assistance in the washroom, acknowledging the intimacy of the request and the inevitability of needing support.

Commitment & Family Acceptance

Aaron proposed to Yenshin at the Apple store in 2023, one year after asking her to be his girlfriend, with the help of his colleagues. Yenshin admitted she suspected something was happening due to the special occasion. Yenshin emphasized that Aaron’s physical condition wasn’t a dealbreaker, as he assured her it wouldn’t affect his life expectancy. However, they faced some concerns from Yenshin’s family.

Daily Life & Shared Responsibilities

The couple now lives with Yenshin’s parents, who have adapted their home to accommodate Aaron’s needs, including a ramp built by Yenshin’s father. Yenshin’s helper, Lynn, assists Aaron with daily tasks like showering, dressing, and preparing for work. Yenshin’s routine revolves around Aaron’s needs, ensuring he is never left alone. Aaron has since transitioned from music teaching to real estate, seeking a career offering greater financial stability and flexibility to balance work, caregiving, and family life.

Maintaining Individuality & Future Plans

Despite the demands of caregiving, Yenshin actively pursues her own interests, such as joining a pickleball group in Johor Bahru (JB). Aaron encourages her to prioritize her own well-being and maintain her independence. They both value individual space and activities, believing it strengthens their bond. Aaron has begun swimming classes in 2025, finding the buoyancy of water allows for greater freedom of movement and aims to improve his overall mobility and reduce his reliance on Yenshin. He hopes to one day stand alongside her.

The couple discussed the possibility of having children, acknowledging the challenges it would present. They are currently on the same page regarding this decision. On their second anniversary, they reflected on their journey and the blessings they share. Yenshin’s mother even hinted at the possibility of grandchildren.

Relationship Dynamics & Reflections

The couple playfully discussed their relationship dynamics, with Yenshin acknowledging she often “stresses” Aaron out. They joked about Aaron’s tendency to wear the same clothes repeatedly. Ultimately, their relationship is built on mutual respect, understanding, and a willingness to adapt to each other’s needs.

Conclusion

Aaron and Yenshin’s story is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and adaptation. It demonstrates that a fulfilling and loving relationship can thrive even in the face of significant challenges. Their journey highlights the importance of open communication, mutual support, and a willingness to embrace life’s unexpected turns. It’s a powerful example of how individuals can build a meaningful life together, regardless of physical limitations.