Let's Make It Awkward | Deborah Liu | TEDxSan Diego Studio

Key Concepts:

• Awkwardness as a tool for change
• Challenging the status quo
• Overcoming feelings of being lesser or unworthy
• Reclaiming power in situations of exclusion or dismissal
• Stepping into conversations and asserting one's presence
• Disrupting stereotypes and assumptions

Personal Experiences and Career Trajectory:

• The speaker recounts experiences at Money 2020, a payments conference, where she was consistently edged out of conversations by potential partners who preferred to speak to her male colleague, despite her being the head of payments at Facebook. This happened for three consecutive years.
• She notes a pattern throughout her career at PayPal, Facebook, and even as CEO of Ancestry, where she was often dismissed or ignored until her position became undeniable.
• Growing up as a child of immigrants in the deep south, she experienced racial bullying and learned to "be small" to avoid attention. This early experience contributed to her later reluctance to "make it awkward."
• She shares instances where she remained silent when a CEO spoke only to her male subordinate, when she was mistaken for an assistant, and when another executive interrupted her to give an update on her own product.

The Turning Point: Women in Product:

• The speaker founded Women in Product, an organization with over 30,000 members.
• At a leads dinner in New York, members shared similar experiences of being dismissed or ignored at industry events.
• This led to a collective decision to "make it awkward" and challenge the status quo.
• This moment marked a shift in perspective, where awkwardness became a catalyst for change rather than an imposition.

Defining and Embracing Awkwardness:

• Awkwardness is defined as stepping up and stepping into the conversation, asserting one's presence and worthiness of being listened to, even if it causes discomfort.
• It's described as a path to raw, honest places where the status quo is challenged.
• Awkwardness is not innate but arises from moments of uncertainty or exclusion.
• The speaker emphasizes that silence in the face of dismissal or disrespect reinforces feelings of being lesser and unworthy.

Awkwardness as a CEO:

• Four years prior to the talk, the speaker became CEO of Ancestry and realized she could no longer hide.
• She recounts an experience where a partner from a consulting firm was visibly surprised to learn she was the CEO.
• Instead of staying silent, she "made it awkward," forcing the partner to correct his assumptions.

The Power of Awkwardness:

• Awkwardness is described as a spark that disrupts autopilot, challenges stereotypes, and changes the narrative.
• It forces changes to stereotypes.
• It changes the story so you're no longer written out.

Call to Action:

• The speaker urges the audience to join her in a pact to embrace awkwardness.
• She encourages them to stop shrinking, staying silent, and being edged out.
• She calls for them to "make it awkward" in moments of tension or silence, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Notable Quotes:

• "Don't make it awkward." - A phrase the speaker used to tell herself to avoid conflict.
• "Screw it. Let's make it awkward." - The pact made at Women in Product.
• "Awkwardness is a jolt awake."
• "Awkwardness is a spark."

Key Takeaways/Conclusion:

The speech advocates for embracing awkwardness as a tool to challenge the status quo, reclaim personal power, and disrupt ingrained biases. By sharing personal anecdotes and professional experiences, the speaker illustrates how choosing to "make it awkward" can lead to significant change and create opportunities for marginalized voices to be heard and respected. The core message is a call to action, urging individuals to overcome their fear of discomfort and actively assert their presence and worth in situations where they are being dismissed or ignored.