Kids with unstoppable resilience | Dr. Jacqueline M. Tolentino | TEDxForbesPark

Key Concepts

• Resilience: Not just bouncing back, but fighting forward with grace and hope.
• Gen Alpha: The generation born after 2010, characterized as tech-savvy, fast-paced, and potentially fragile.
• RZ (Gen Alpha Resilience):
  • Ris: Charisma and confidence to pursue goals and bounce back from failure.
  • Shift Mindset: The ability to adapt quickly when things don't go as planned.
  • Link: Connecting with the world, but potentially disconnected from parents.
• FOBBO: Fear of being obsolete.
• AI Kid Formula: A framework for nurturing children in the AI age:
  • A (Authentic): Be real and genuine.
  • I (Intentional): Be deliberate in your actions with children.
  • K (Kickstart): Encourage dreams through microlearning (3 apps, 3 minutes, 3 days).
• Connection: Positive connection with at least one adult is crucial for building resilience.
• Greatness to Goodness: Skills are not enough without character; greatness should be paired with goodness.

The Speaker's Personal Story and the Meaning of Resilience

The speaker opens with a personal anecdote about her daughter, Levi, who was born prematurely and given only 24 hours to live. Levi weighed only 1.9 kilos, and her head was the size of a golf ball. Despite the grim prognosis and seeing her in the ICU with tubes everywhere, the speaker fought for her daughter's life, whispering encouragement and praying for her survival. Levi defied the odds and is now a healthy nine-year-old, a world champion in Taekwondo, a valedictorian, and aspiring Olympian. Levi's story exemplifies resilience, which the speaker defines not just as "bouncing back," but as "fighting forward with grace and hope."

Gen Alpha and the Need for Resilience

The speaker introduces Gen Alpha, the generation to which her daughter belongs, noting that there are 22.5 billion Gen Alpha individuals globally. She emphasizes the importance of investing in their resilience, especially in the age of AI. She compares children to smartphones: "super smart, very, very fast and super connected," but also "fragile." They are vulnerable to the pressures of social media, where "one post, with one unfollow, their world will collapse." Therefore, they need guidance and support more than ever.

The "Phone Drop" Challenge and Leadership Styles

The speaker challenges the audience to take out their phones and drop them, illustrating different approaches to risk and parenting. This exercise highlights different leadership styles:

• Nonchalant Leader: Doesn't even take the phone out (unengaged).
• Helicopter Parent: Takes the phone out but doesn't let go (overprotective).
• Safety Net: Takes the challenge but has a safety net (cautious).
• Screen Protector: Knows there's protection and lets go (trusting, builds resilience).

The analogy is that when children have a strong foundation of resilience, parents can "let go and let them fly."

Gen Alpha's Definition of Resilience (RZ)

The speaker explains how Gen Alpha defines resilience using the acronym "RZ":

• Ris: Charisma, confidence, and the belief that one can bounce back from failure.
• Shift Mindset: The ability to quickly adapt when things don't go as planned.
• Link: Connecting with the world, but potentially disconnected from parents.

Building Resilience: The AI Kid Formula and the Importance of Connection

Drawing from a 2025 Harvard study, the speaker emphasizes that the number one factor in building resilience in children in the age of AI is a "positive connection with one adult." This could be a parent, relative, mentor, teacher, or coach. She introduces the "AI Kid Formula":

• A (Authentic): Be real and genuine with children.
• I (Intentional): Be deliberate in your actions and interactions with them.
• K (Kickstart): Encourage their dreams through microlearning – using apps for short periods (3 apps, 3 minutes, 3 days) to master skills.

She stresses that every choice has a price, and the price for parents and leaders is the "sacrifice of time" to be consistently present and supportive.

Greatness to Goodness: The Story of Eli and the Kalisag Movement

The speaker shares the story of her student, Eli, who graduated magna cum laude from Harvard. Eli's parents were always supportive of her endeavors. However, Eli stood out because she didn't just focus on herself. She used her graduation cap to promote a "lost cause," honoring World War II veterans, which went viral. Eli started the Kalisag movement (Kalasag means protection), using social media to teach children to love their country through service. This story illustrates the importance of pairing greatness with goodness.

The Power of Mentorship: The Story of the Pagita Seller

The speaker tells the story of a single woman who saw a child selling sampaguita flowers on the streets of Makati. Recognizing the child's aptitude for math, she offered her a scholarship from grade school through college. This child became a valedictorian at Eton and was the first recipient of their scholarship grant. At 22, she was able to provide a house and lot for her family. This story highlights the transformative power of mentorship and how it can lift entire families.

Conclusion: Living a Life of Significance and Building Resilience

The speaker concludes by emphasizing that choosing to build resilience in others leads to a "life of significance," which some may call happiness, a calling, or peace. She encourages the audience to view pressure as an opportunity for play and learning, and to remind children that they are never alone. She reminds the audience of the power they hold, with "one swipe, with one post," to either lift or tear down others. She urges them to build resilience instead.

She asks the audience to remember someone who believed in them when they were down and how that changed their life. She emphasizes that every billion-dollar startup started with one person supporting a dream, every movement with one action of courage, and every world leader with one resilient child. She challenges everyone to reach out to one person – a lonely child, a rebellious youth, a hurting adult, or someone with a big dream – and empower them. She concludes by stating that everyone's calling is irrevocable, and their gifts and talents can be multiplied exponentially by starting with one person.