I Travelled To A Rural Nepal Farm To Focus On My Mental Health | Pause With Purpose

Key Concepts

• Work exchange in Nepal
• Sherpa culture and family life
• Volunteering on a farm
• Cultural exchange and personal growth
• Grief and loss
• Importance of community
• Rediscovering artistic passion
• Mental health and medication
• The value of connection and communication

Arrival and Introduction to Nepal

Isabella travels to Nepal for a two-week work exchange, hoping to find inspiration and direction in her life. She is hosted by a Sherpa family who live on a farm in Kamji, also known as Langing, which means "the heart of God." The journey from Kathmandu is a 300 km ride. Chimmy, her host, works for a nonprofit in Kathmandu, while her father tends to the farm and a local monastery. The farm grows potatoes and fruits for sustenance. Isabella learns that Chimmy inherited the house and surrounding land from her grandmother.

Farm Life and Volunteer Interactions

Isabella learns about the farm's operations, including hosting volunteers who exchange work for food and lodging. She meets other volunteers, but feels a sense of awkwardness and distance from them. She reflects on her anxiety when meeting new people and her past experiences with feeling like an outsider. Isabella shares her background, including her Singaporean-British heritage, her upbringing in Saudi Arabia, and her struggles with feeling lost after graduating from art school.

Personal Struggles and Family Support

Isabella opens up about her difficult year, including a breakup and the death of her cousin Faruk from leukemia. She expresses feelings of being lost and not being proud of herself. Her mother expresses concern for Isabella, recalling a previous breakup and the loss of her cousin. Isabella's mother hopes that the experience in Nepal will help Isabella discover what she wants in life.

Farm Work and Cultural Immersion

Isabella participates in farm work, such as carrying manure, and bonds with Chimmy through shared experiences. She observes the warmth and hospitality of the Sherpa family.

Grandmother's Death Anniversary and Community

Isabella witnesses the one-year death anniversary ceremony for Chimmy's grandmother, which involves inviting monks for prayer and the entire village for mourning and celebration. She reflects on her own grandmother's prayer ceremony, where fewer family members attended, and contrasts it with the strong community spirit in Nepal.

Rediscovering Artistic Passion

Isabella connects with another volunteer who studied fine arts, sparking a renewed interest in her own artistic pursuits. She realizes the importance of the process, not just the end result. Chimmy's father takes the volunteers on a hike to a monastery. Isabella and Chimmy bond over their shared experiences of breakups and grief.

Monastery Visit and Spiritual Reflection

The group visits a monastery built by a monk who was a teacher to the Dalai Lama. Isabella meets the reincarnation of the monk, a 10-year-old boy. She reflects on her experience in Nepal, stating that she may not have found spiritual enlightenment but feels "awakened."

Loneliness and Connection

Isabella reflects on feeling lonely and struggling to connect with people on a deeper level. She discusses her use of internet friendships to find deeper connections and open up without feeling judged.

Village Life and Advice

Isabella joins Chimmy and her mother for lunch with an elder in the village. The elder shares her experience of living in New York for 29 years and returning to Nepal to pursue her love of nature and farming. She advises Isabella to figure out what she wants and to balance financial security with pursuing her passions.

Health Camp and Inspiration

Isabella's mother, a professor of community medicine, conducts a health camp in the village with the help of Isabella's sister, who works as an ECG tech in the US. Isabella is inspired by her mother's dedication to giving back to her community.

Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

Isabella discusses her use of ChatGPT as a "secondhand therapist" to unpack her emotions. She reveals that she started taking medication for anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic. Chimmy shares that she also experiences depressive spells and has considered medication. Isabella reflects on her reliance on technology and online strangers as coping mechanisms.

Artistic Expression and Gratitude

Isabella shares her paintings with Chimmy and her family, revealing her inspiration from Buddhist paintings. She gifts them hand-painted plates with Singaporean flowers as a thank you. She expresses gratitude for Chimmy's warmth, openness, and honesty, acknowledging her significant role in Isabella's healing journey.

Return to Singapore and Future Plans

Isabella returns to Singapore and immediately resumes work. She plans to allocate time for drawing and reconnect with her artistic side. She reflects on her conversations with Chimmy and decides to open up to her close friends about her depression. She receives reassurance and support from her friends, reinforcing the importance of connection and communication.

Final Reflections and Artistic Pursuits

Isabella visits a local village and buys art supplies, feeling inspired to draw again. She acknowledges her fear of failure and the struggle to create. She recognizes the need to overcome her anxiety and pursue her artistic dreams. She concludes that she needs to stop being scared and actually become courageous or else she'll be stuck and lost for all of eternity.

Week Two and Introspection

Week two is quieter, allowing for more introspection. Isabella finds therapy in the farm work, contemplating and thinking while being productive. She fertilizes peach trees and reflects on her progress in crawling out of her depressive hole.

Last Day and Dapbouti's Shrine

On her last day, Isabella hikes to Dapbouti's shrine with Tenzi, Chimmy's father. She reflects on her beautiful journey and the time she had to introspect.

Back in Singapore and Promises

Back in Singapore, Isabella is overwhelmed but makes a promise to allocate time to draw. She has a big gathering with friends and family for Ramadan. She reflects on how she was in shambles two months prior and how the trip to Nepal allowed her to reflect on what she needed.

Sharing with Friends and Acceptance

Isabella shares her feelings with her close friends, who reassure her and remind her of their love and support. She finally accepts that she has depression and is no longer in denial.

Conclusion

Isabella's work exchange in Nepal was a transformative experience that allowed her to confront her personal struggles, rediscover her artistic passion, and appreciate the importance of community and connection. She returns to Singapore with a renewed sense of purpose and a commitment to prioritizing her mental health and creative pursuits.