How to start spending, saving, and giving better | David Delisle | TEDxVictoria

Key Concepts

• Awesome Stuff: Things that truly matter most to an individual, not external validation.
• The Awesome Stuff Experience: A framework for making conscious decisions about spending, saving, and giving, centered around the question "Is this my awesome stuff?"
• Pause: A moment of reflection before making a decision, crucial for identifying true desires.
• Saving for Freedom: The act of saving money not for immediate purchase, but to gain the liberty to choose what truly matters later.
• Giving Because You Can: The act of generosity stemming from the ability to give, rather than from a sense of obligation or hierarchy.

The Story of Chasing "More"

The speaker begins by recounting the story of his father, a charismatic individual who seemingly "had it all" – wealth, possessions, and a vibrant social life. However, this external success masked a profound personal deficit. The father was absent in the speaker's life, missing significant events like hockey games and even failing to know about his son's marriage or meet his grandchildren. He died alone at 54, having pursued material wealth and freedom, yet finding it "never enough." This experience led the speaker to question the societal narrative that "more" equates to happiness.

The Speaker's Personal Realization

The speaker shares his own experience of achieving a dream home, only to realize that the pursuit of material possessions had distanced him from his children. This moment of introspection sparked a lifelong dedication to understanding money and teaching financial literacy, not just about accumulating wealth, but about understanding the underlying desire for "more." He emphasizes the danger of chasing external validation and losing sight of what truly matters.

Introducing The Awesome Stuff Experience

The core of the video introduces "The Awesome Stuff Experience," a simple yet profound methodology designed to shift perspectives on spending, saving, and giving. The speaker describes implementing this with his sons, Will and Noah, during a trip to Disneyland.

Step 1: The Pause and the Question

The first step involves a deliberate "pause" and the question: "Is this my awesome stuff?" This encourages individuals to reflect on whether a desired item or experience aligns with their deepest values and what truly matters to them, independent of external pressures.

• Methodology: The speaker guides the audience through an exercise:
  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Hold out your left hand and visualize something you want to buy (e.g., a phone, shoes, a car). This represents "awesome stuff" in the immediate sense.
  3. Hold out your right hand and visualize something else, which may not be a material possession. Examples include:
     • A moment of shared laughter.
     • Being present for a loved one in need.
     • Watching a sunrise with someone special, fostering deep connection.
  4. Open your eyes and compare what you are holding in each hand. The speaker notes that the desire for the item in the left hand may diminish when contrasted with the value of the experience in the right. This "shift" is the magic of the pause.

Step 2: Save for Freedom

The second component focuses on "saving for freedom." The speaker criticizes traditional financial education that immediately asks children what they plan to buy with their savings, framing saving as merely delayed spending. He also rejects saving out of fear.

• Key Argument: Saving should not be about acquiring more things, but about creating the freedom to choose what truly matters.
• Methodology: The speaker suggests saving a portion (e.g., 20%) of money received, not as a restriction, but as a proactive step towards future freedom. He poses a rhetorical question: "Imagine if you'd save 20% of everything you ever received... How much more freedom would you have today?" The emphasis is on letting money grow and work for the individual, enabling them to say "yes" to what is genuinely important.

Step 3: Give Because You Can

The third element is "giving because you can." The speaker challenges the notion of giving solely because one has "more" or to the "less fortunate," which can create a sense of hierarchy.

• Key Argument: Giving should be an act of generosity stemming from the ability to give, not from a position of superiority or obligation.
• Methodology: The speaker encourages looking for opportunities to bring joy to others, even in small ways, like making a stranger smile. He highlights that the most meaningful experiences are often shared, not hoarded.

Real-World Application: The Disneyland Experience

The speaker illustrates these principles through his sons' experience at Disneyland.

• Will's Purchase: Will initially wanted to buy an overpriced toy plane. After pausing and considering, he still bought it. The speaker emphasizes that the act of pausing and buying out of awareness, rather than impulse, was the success, not the purchase itself. This aligns with the goal of "choosing what matters more," not necessarily choosing less.
• The Collector's Pin: On Mickey and Minnie Mouse's birthday, everyone received a free collector's pin. Will overheard an older lady who had missed out. He ran over and gave her his pin. The speaker describes the lady's reaction as feeling "seen," and this moment was a proud demonstration of Will's developing character. This exemplifies the "giving because you can" principle.

The Awesome Stuff Experience as a System

The speaker reiterates that The Awesome Stuff Experience is a continuous system, not a one-off event. It aims to redefine our understanding of spending, saving, and giving:

• Spending: Shifting from buying things we don't truly want to realizing we didn't want them in the first place.
• Saving: Moving from saving for more stuff to saving so money works and grows, providing freedom.
• Giving: Transitioning from giving out of a sense of having more to giving simply because we can.

Conclusion and Call to Action

The speaker concludes by advocating for a new approach to financial literacy that prioritizes meaning over accumulation. He believes that by teaching children to seek meaning, we can create a world with more joy, connection, generosity, and freedom. The core message is that significant change can be achieved through simple actions: a pause and one question.

• Key Takeaways:
  • True happiness is rarely found in accumulating more material possessions.
  • What truly matters most is often intangible: people, connection, and meaning.
  • Saving is a tool for creating freedom and choice.
  • Generosity is a powerful act that enriches both the giver and the receiver.
  • Financial literacy should focus on values and meaning, not just wealth accumulation.

The speaker ends with a powerful statement: "It's time for a new way to teach financial literacy. A better way. One where we're not lost in an endless chase for more. And it really can be as simple as a pause and one question to rewrite how we live. More joy, more connection, more generosity, and more freedom. Because that that's the awesome stuff."