How to start putting your happiness first | Ashleigh Maxcey | TEDxNashville

Key Concepts

• Happiness as a Skill: Happiness isn't solely determined by genetics or luck, but can be cultivated through intentional habits and practices.
• Genetic Set Point: Approximately 50% of happiness is determined by genetics, a factor largely unchangeable.
• Controllable Happiness (40%): Up to 40% of happiness is within an individual’s daily control through behaviors and mindset.
• Intentional Behaviors: Specific, empirically validated habits (like forgiveness practice, gratitude journaling, experiencing awe, celebrating others) can demonstrably increase happiness.
• Systemic Change: Societal systems (education, work, family) currently prioritize achievement over well-being, and need to be restructured to prioritize happiness as a foundation for success.
• Delayed vs. Prioritized Joy: The tendency to postpone happiness until future achievements is detrimental, as life is unpredictable and happiness itself fuels success.

The Misplaced Priority of Happiness

The speaker begins by highlighting the universal desire for happiness, yet its conspicuous absence from formal education and systemic prioritization. While productivity, performance, and analytical skills are rigorously assessed, happiness is largely left to chance, despite being the ultimate goal for most people. This stems from a societal emphasis on accomplishments, achievements, and possessions as means to happiness, a framework the speaker argues is fundamentally backwards. The core argument is that happiness isn’t a result of success, but a precursor to it.

The Science of Happiness: Control & Practice

The speaker, a cognitive psychologist and professor at Vanderbilt University, details her exploration of happiness through a positive psychology course. Initially skeptical, she designed the course to allow students to independently assess the impact of intentional behaviors on their well-being. She cites research indicating that while 50% of happiness is determined by a genetic “set point,” a significant 40% is within an individual’s daily control. This controllable portion is influenced by how time is spent, what is focused on, and what practices are adopted.

This 40% is not a fixed number, but the core premise remains: intentional behavior can demonstrably boost well-being and sustain those increases over time.

Empirically Validated Habits & Course Structure

The course was structured around habits inspired by the work of Dr. Sonia Lubamerski, including:

• Letter of Forgiveness (Undelivered): Practicing forgiveness as an act of self-healing, not reconciliation. Delivering the letter is discouraged as the benefit lies in the act of forgiveness itself.
• Gratitude Practice: Identifying and replacing one ungrateful thought daily with a grateful one.
• Experiencing Awe: Cultivating a sense of awe and wonder, particularly in nature, to replicate the benefits of religion and spirituality.
• Celebrating Others’ Successes: Actively and genuinely celebrating the accomplishments of friends and colleagues. The speaker notes a societal tendency to struggle with this, highlighting the importance of genuine support.
• Savoring Daily Moments: Slowing down and intentionally enjoying everyday experiences, like a morning cup of coffee.

Students were required to submit evidence of practice (photos, summaries of the science behind the habit), and honestly reflect on its impact. The speaker emphasized her neutrality, stating she had “no skin in the game” and wouldn’t be offended by negative results, encouraging honest feedback.

Unexpected Results & The Fleeting Nature of Joy

The course proved effective, though not in the way initially anticipated. Students reported positive effects, with one stating, “Connecting with my family did make me feel better. Count happiness as boosted.” Another found forgiveness “really calming.” However, a follow-up assessment months after the semester revealed that most students had discontinued the habits, treating them like temporary course requirements.

This led to a crucial insight: students weren’t dismissing happiness as irrelevant, but feared prioritizing it would diminish their competitive “edge.” They believed happiness was a reward for future success, not a catalyst for it. One student explicitly stated, “I’m not going to make time in my day for happiness because the joy it brings is fleeting.” Another argued, “Happiness doesn’t count on a resume.”

Personal Experience & The Urgency of Joy

The speaker powerfully illustrates this point with a personal anecdote. At age 33, she became paralyzed from the waist down due to a ruptured disc. Years of rehabilitation, depression, and chronic pain followed. This experience instilled a sense of urgency, recognizing the fragility of life and the folly of postponing joy. She notes that when students express a desire to delay happiness, she feels a sense of urgency they cannot yet comprehend.

Systemic Flaws & The Need for Change

The speaker argues that current systems – education, work, family – are “broken” because they prioritize achievement over well-being. Education rewards test scores, work rewards output, and families often prioritize discipline over delight. This creates a cycle of constantly chasing success with a perpetually moving goalpost.

However, science demonstrates that happiness leads to success, fostering resilience, focus, connection, faster recovery, better leadership, and increased longevity. The speaker observed that even retirees, having achieved many traditional markers of success, still seek out courses on happiness, demonstrating its enduring value.

Call to Action: Building Happiness-Focused Systems

The speaker concludes with a call to action, emphasizing that we create the systems that shape our lives. She suggests simple changes: asking children about their happiness before their achievements, fostering regular social connection among neighbors and friends, and rewarding employees for utilizing their vacation time.

She points to the fact that the happiest countries aren’t simply populated by individuals reading self-help books, but by societies that embed happiness norms into their structures. The ultimate goal is to create systems that treat happiness as a foundation for everything else, making it not just possible, but probable and even inevitable. As she states, “That is how we grade happiness and give it the credit it deserves.”

Technical Terms & Concepts

• Positive Psychology: The scientific study of what makes life most worth living, focusing on strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive.
• Empirically Validated: Supported by evidence from scientific research.
• Genetic Set Point: The level of happiness a person tends to return to after positive or negative events, largely determined by genetics.
• Cognitive Psychologist: A psychologist who studies mental processes such as attention, memory, and problem-solving.
• Resilience: The ability to recover quickly from difficulties.
• Impinged: To have a negative effect on something.

Logical Connections

The presentation follows a clear logical progression: identifying the problem (happiness is undervalued), presenting the scientific basis for prioritizing happiness (genetic set point, controllable factors), detailing a practical intervention (the positive psychology course), analyzing the results (unexpected challenges with sustained practice), and concluding with a call to action (systemic change). The speaker’s personal anecdote serves as a powerful emotional anchor, reinforcing the urgency of the message.