How to navigate Millennial midlife crisis | Therese Reyes | TEDxAyala Avenue Women

Key Concepts:

• Dream fulfillment and the subsequent feeling of being lost.
• Millennial identity, hustle culture, and the desire for purpose.
• The changing media landscape and its impact on career paths.
• The "second puberty" of the 30s: unlearning old values and learning new ones.
• Seeking a slower life and finding joy in well-being.
• Relatability and the acceptance of not being unique.
• Finding a new path through boredom, hobbies, diverse reading, and exploring new industries.

The Illusion of the Dream and the Aftermath

The speaker begins by challenging the conventional belief that achieving one's dream leads to lasting fulfillment. She recounts achieving her dream at 28 and feeling lost at 33, highlighting the lack of guidance on what to do after reaching a major goal.

Millennial Aspirations and the Media's Influence

• Early Career: The speaker describes her first job as an editorial assistant, fueled by the romanticized portrayal of media careers in shows like Sex and the City (Carrie Bradshaw), How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Andy Anderson), and 13 Going on 30 (Jenna Rink). These characters created unrealistic expectations for millennials.
• The "Girls" Counterpoint: She contrasts this with Girls, which offered a more realistic and cringeworthy depiction of the millennial struggle for purpose.
• Millennial Identity: Millennials are characterized as earnest dreamers and cutthroat girl bosses, driven by a desire to make a difference, often monetizing their interests and turning themselves into brands. This contrasts with Gen Z's rejection of hustle culture.
• Example: The speaker's early career involved transcribing interviews and uploading articles, but also experiencing the rise and fall of trends like the cronut. She was eager to prove herself, believing that covering pop culture, especially from Asia, could make a difference.

The Dream Job and the Shifting Media Landscape

• Achieving the Dream: The speaker landed her "dream gig" at Vice, editing articles on diverse topics like elections, natural disasters, sex, and raves.
• Experiences: She learned to bike at 29 for a story, interviewed a K-pop girl group, and consulted a fortune teller in Seoul.
• The Fall: Vice stopped publishing on its website, mirroring the decline of other millennial media outlets like Buzzfeed News. This event forced the speaker to confront the changing media landscape and question her career path.
• Implications: The speaker emphasizes the serious implications of this shift for the world and her personal sense of purpose.

The Search for Purpose and the "Second Puberty"

• Purpose and Job Satisfaction: Citing the Deloitte 2024 Gen Z and Millennial Survey, the speaker notes that 89% of millennials consider a sense of purpose important for job satisfaction and well-being.
• Shifting Focus: She argues that purpose doesn't need to be grand and that it's not necessarily about individual achievement.
• The "Second Puberty": Drawing from TikTok trends, she describes the 30s as a "second puberty," characterized by physical changes, unlearning old values, and regaining self-confidence. This involves second-guessing, figuring things out, and a sense of rediscovery.
• Example: The speaker admits to feeling lost and realizing that she can't "hack" her way through life with obsessive habits and to-do lists.

Slowing Down and Rediscovering Joy

• Seeking a Slower Life: The speaker mentions the trend of millennials moving out of cities to the suburbs or provinces, seeking a slower pace of life.
• Data: According to a Harris poll, 70% of US Gen Y feel deceived by the idea that more money and career advancement bring joy.
• Personal Example: The speaker moved to Baguio to slow down and rediscover her passions without the pressure to monetize them. She wants to spend time with family, cook, read, and watch films without feeling the need to create content about it.

Relatability and Acceptance

• The Power of Relatability: The speaker realizes that her experiences are not unique, making her relatable. She embraces this relatability to connect with the audience.
• Warning and Encouragement: She warns that feeling lost is a common experience and encourages the audience not to fear existential crises or feel the need to completely change themselves.
• Core Beliefs: She maintains her belief in doing things that matter but without the pressure to change the world.

Finding a New Path: Practical Steps

The speaker offers a new to-do list for finding a new path:

1. Give yourself time to get bored: Boredom can foster creativity, skills, and self-esteem (Child Mind Institute).
2. Find a hobby you don't monetize: Engaging in creative activities is beneficial for mental health and well-being (British Journal of Clinical Psychology).
3. Read something that has nothing to do with work: Author Ray Bradbury suggests reading one poem, one short story, and one essay a night.
4. Watch a film or TV genre that you're not usually interested in: Explore niche streamers or cultures you wouldn't normally watch films or movies from.
5. Explore industries you know nothing about: This is what the speaker and the audience are doing by attending the TED talk.

Conclusion

The speaker concludes by expressing hope that the audience will find their next dream and thanks them for attending her TED talk. The main takeaway is that feeling lost after achieving a dream is a common experience, and finding a new path involves embracing boredom, pursuing non-monetized hobbies, diversifying one's reading and viewing habits, and exploring unfamiliar industries.