How to Mentor Someone in 4 Steps

Key Concepts:

• Mentoring Framework: A four-phase approach to mentoring individuals on specific skills and experiences.
• "You Do It": The mentor demonstrates the skill or task.
• "You Do It, They Help": The mentee assists the mentor in performing the task.
• "They Do It, You Help": The mentee takes the lead, with the mentor providing guidance and support.
• "They Do It": The mentee performs the task independently.

1. Introduction to the Mentoring Framework

• The video introduces a four-phase framework for mentoring, focusing on a structured, "mechanical" approach to skill development.
• It acknowledges the importance of relational dynamics (trust, rapport) but emphasizes a practical, step-by-step process.
• The framework can be applied to various learning scenarios, from short-term tasks to long-term development plans.
• The framework is not original to the presenter, and its origins are likely very old.

2. Phase 1: You Do It (or You Do It, They Watch)

• Description: The mentor demonstrates the skill or task, showcasing expertise and experience.
• Key Point: The mentor should possess a high level of competence in the area being taught.
• Caveat: Individuals with slightly more experience can still be effective role models for basic skills.
• Example: The presenter's experience as an intern at a management consulting firm, where he observed experienced consultants coaching executives.
• Actionable Insight: Before becoming a mentor, seek out mentors and learn from those who are already proficient.

3. Phase 2: You Do It, They Help

• Description: The mentor performs the majority of the task, while the mentee assists in meaningful ways.
• Analogy: The mentor is the pilot, and the mentee is the co-pilot.
• Key Point: This phase allows the mentee to observe, learn, and gradually take on more responsibility.
• Example: The presenter's brother teaching his children how to fix motorcycles, starting with them handing him tools and gradually assigning them small tasks.
• Example: The presenter's internship, where he initially observed consultants and then gradually took on small parts of workshops and other tasks.

4. Phase 3: They Do It, You Help

• Description: The mentee takes the lead on the task, with the mentor providing guidance, feedback, and support.
• Key Point: Requires humility from the mentor to step back and allow the mentee to make mistakes.
• Challenge: Individuals who struggle with control may find this phase difficult.
• Example: The presenter's brother allowing his children to take the lead on motorcycle repairs, providing assistance only when needed.
• Example: The presenter being given the opportunity to present entire workshops, with the senior consultants providing feedback and support.
• Example: The presenter's first solo workshop presentation in Las Vegas.

5. Phase 4: They Do It (or They Do It, You Watch)

• Description: The mentee performs the task independently.
• Key Point: The mentor provides encouragement and allows the mentee to operate outside of their comfort zone.
• Analogy: The mentee is now the pilot of their own plane, without a co-pilot.
• Example: The presenter's son driving the car on his own after getting his driver's license.
• Example: The consulting firm sending the presenter to conduct workshops independently at various locations.

6. Conclusion

• The four-phase framework provides a structured approach to mentoring, emphasizing gradual progression and increasing independence for the mentee.
• Competence in the skill being taught is crucial for the mentor.
• The middle two phases ("You Do It, They Help" and "They Do It, You Help") involve a transition of responsibility from the mentor to the mentee.
• The ultimate goal is for the mentee to become competent and confident enough to perform the task independently and eventually mentor others.