How to land a job and master corporate bullsh*t | Fredrik Fornes | TEDxArendal

Key Concepts

• Job application process
• Resume optimization
• Interview strategies
• Corporate culture
• Toxic workplaces
• Humor in career advice
• Ageism in the workplace

Surviving Job Ads: Decoding Corporate Poetry

The speaker humorously critiques common job ad cliches, highlighting their often misleading nature.

• "Competitive salary": Means the salary will barely cover bills.
• "Unique opportunity": Indicates the opportunity is not actually unique.
• "Team player": Implies doing extra work due to poor workload management.
• "We like your family": Warns of potential emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping.

Resume Submission: A Test of Patience

The speaker mocks the redundant process of uploading a resume as a PDF and then manually re-entering the same information into text fields.

• He cleverly responds by writing "Already in uploaded resume" in the manual text fields for education and experience.
• This was a way to show that he "works smarter, not harder."

Ageism in the Corporate World: The Golden Era

The speaker presents a humorous graph illustrating ageism in the corporate world.

• Experience is not valued when young.
• The "Golden Era" is between 26 and 40, where experience is appreciated.
• After 40, perceived value declines, and after 60, one is considered "dead" in terms of career prospects.
• He was 32 years old, which was the "correct age" for the company culture.

Job Interviews: A Conversation Between Liars

The speaker advocates for honesty in job interviews, contrasting it with the typical "lying" that occurs.

• He shares his honest (and humorous) answers to common interview questions:
  • "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?": "Either in your job or not here anymore."
  • "How do you handle stress?": Describes a comical stress-induced meltdown.
• He suggests asking bold questions of the interviewer, such as:
  • "What are your weaknesses?"
  • "How do you handle conflict in the workplace?"
  • "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" (aimed at the interviewer).

Playing Hard to Get: The Ghosting Strategy

The speaker advises playing "hard to get" after the interview.

• He ended the interview by saying he would let them know if he wanted the job, otherwise he would "ghost" them.
• He accepted the job six months later.

Toxic Workplace Indicators: The Perk-Toxicity Correlation

The speaker presents a "scientific" method for determining workplace toxicity based on office perks.

• Water dispenser and coffee: Normal.
• Pilates: Be aware.
• Bean bags and ping pong table: Run away.
• He participated in Pilates with his boss, confirming his suspicions of a toxic manager.

Venting Frustration: The White Font Trick

The speaker describes a risky method for venting frustration with a micromanaging boss.

• He replied to an email with positive affirmations, followed by negative comments in white font.
• The plan backfired because his boss used Outlook in dark mode, revealing the hidden message.
• The message was: "D Boss Of course I'll get this done no worries then I added you micromanaging toxic door God I hate this job"

Conclusion

The speaker humorously recounts his job search experiences, offering unconventional advice on navigating job ads, resumes, interviews, and toxic workplaces. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, honesty (with caution), and recognizing red flags in corporate culture. The story ends with him back at square one, needing to find a new job after his white font trick was exposed.