How to believe in yourself again

Key Concepts

• Self-Belief/Self-Confidence: The conviction in one's own abilities and judgment.
• Vicarious Mastery Experiences: Gaining confidence by observing others similar to oneself succeed at a task.
• Self-Efficacy: An individual's belief in their capacity to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific performance attainments.
• Cognitive Distance: The ability to observe thoughts without identifying with them or taking them as absolute truth.

Three Ways to Build Self-Belief

The video outlines three primary methods for cultivating self-belief, particularly when it has been lost.

1. Accumulating Evidence of Competence (Method 1)

This method focuses on building self-belief through direct experience and the accumulation of tangible proof of one's capabilities.

• Mechanism: By repeatedly engaging in a specific activity, even if initially lacking confidence, the sheer quantity of practice and output generates evidence of competence. This evidence, in turn, fosters belief in one's ability to perform the task.
• Example: If someone doubts their ability to start a YouTube channel, the act of creating numerous videos, regardless of initial quality, will eventually lead to an understanding of the process and a belief in their capacity to make YouTube videos. The speaker notes, "It's it's not that hard, right? by actually just getting evidence of you being good at the thing."

2. Vicarious Mastery Experiences (Method 2)

This approach draws on the work of psychologist Albert Bandura and his concept of self-efficacy. It involves leveraging the successes of others to bolster one's own confidence.

• Mechanism: Surrounding oneself with individuals who are successfully performing a task that one feels unconfident about can actually improve self-confidence. The logic is that observing similar people achieve success makes the task seem more attainable for oneself. This counters the intuition that seeing others excel might lead to feelings of inadequacy.
• Supporting Evidence/Theory: Albert Bandura, a prominent psychologist, discussed this concept in relation to self-efficacy, a term he developed. The speaker mentions Bandura's work from "like 1940 or something" and also references it in their own book on productivity.
• Real-World Application/Example: The speaker shares a personal experience with app development. By listening to numerous interviews on the "Indie Hackers podcast," which featured people who had successfully built apps, they experienced a vicarious mastery. Repeated exposure to these success stories made app development seem less daunting and more achievable, thereby increasing their self-belief in that area. The speaker states, "by listening to these sorts of interviews repeatedly, it made me realize, oh, okay, this doesn't seem too bad. I can do it as well."

3. Recognizing Belief as a Thought (Method 3)

This method involves a cognitive reframing of self-belief, treating it as a mental construct rather than an inherent truth.

• Mechanism: This approach is rooted in the understanding that both believing and not believing in oneself are simply thoughts. Through practices like meditation, individuals can develop the ability to create distance from their thoughts, observing them without necessarily accepting them as reality.
• Technical Term/Concept: Cognitive Distance is key here. It refers to the capacity to detach from one's thoughts, recognizing them as transient mental events akin to the weather.
• Argument/Perspective: The speaker argues that if one can achieve cognitive distance from thoughts, then one can, in essence, "choose to believe in yourself because you are choosing not to" identify with the thought of not believing. This implies a level of agency in constructing one's own belief system. The speaker explains, "when a thought comes by that like, oh, I don't believe in myself about thing X or I do believe in myself about thing X, it it's just a thought. It's like the weather. Like you don't have to believe a thought. You don't have to take it seriously. You don't have to identify with it."

Synthesis and Conclusion

The video presents a multi-faceted approach to rebuilding self-belief. It moves from tangible, action-oriented methods like accumulating evidence of competence and learning from others' successes, to a more introspective, cognitive strategy of recognizing the nature of thoughts. The core takeaway is that self-belief is not a fixed trait but can be actively cultivated through practice, observation, and a conscious reframing of one's internal dialogue. The three methods offer a comprehensive toolkit for individuals seeking to regain or strengthen their conviction in their own abilities.