How idolizing coworkers can hold you back | Kelli Thompson | TEDxOmaha

Key Concepts:

• Authority Bias: The tendency to be more influenced by the opinions of perceived authority figures.
• Pedestal Problem: Placing individuals (due to title, experience, charisma) on a pedestal, leading to self-underestimation and silencing of one's own ideas.
• Hippo: Highest Paid Person's Opinion, which can silence others in a meeting.
• Reconnecting to Self: Aligning with personal values and what one stands for.
• Equalizing Connections: Recognizing and owning unique talents and perspectives.
• Connecting to the Future: Defining a desired legacy and taking action on one's calling.
• Compare and Despair: The confidence-killing effects of comparing oneself to others.

1. Introduction: The Crisco Story and Authority Bias

• The speaker begins with a personal anecdote about using Crisco as suntan lotion in 1992, influenced by her friend's older sister, whom she perceived as an authority on beauty and popularity.
• This illustrates the concept of "Authority Bias," where individuals are more influenced by perceived authority figures, even when the advice is questionable.
• In the speaker's youth, high schoolers were the authority figures. Now, it can look like blind trust in AI like Chat GPT.

2. The Pedestal Problem in Corporate America

• The speaker transitions to her experience in Corporate America, specifically in male-dominated financial services.
• She describes feeling annoyed in meetings due to the same voices (mostly male senior leaders) dominating the conversation.
• She realized that she was silencing herself due to intimidation and the belief that those with higher titles and more experience knew better.
• This is identified as the "Pedestal Problem," where individuals place others on a pedestal, leading them to underestimate their own ideas and insights.
• The speaker was intimidated by the "Hippo" (Highest Paid Person's Opinion).

3. Consequences of the Pedestal Problem

• The speaker explains that the pedestal problem interrupts the connection we have with ourselves.
• When we put others on a pedestal, we assume they know better, leading us to silence our ideas and stop trusting our intuition.
• Conversely, when others put us on a pedestal, we can become "brilliant jerks" who don't receive honest feedback, leading to corporate scandals.
• Pedestal leaders withhold their real concerns and struggles from their team creating isolation and disconnection.
• The team withholds the ideas and feedback that those leaders need to create thriving and connected cultures.
• The pedestal problem has left books unwritten, dream jobs unrealized, products undeveloped, policies outdated, status quo unchanged, and cultures mediocre.

4. Pulling the Pedestal: Reconnecting to Full Leadership Potential

• The speaker argues that simply having more confidence or "faking it until you make it" is not the solution to the pedestal problem.
• Instead, she proposes a three-pronged approach based on her conversations with happy and fulfilled leaders:
  • Reconnecting to Yourself: Asking, "Does this advice, person, or situation align with my values and what I stand for?"
  • Equalizing Your Connections: Asking, "What is that unique talent, perspective, or point of view that only I can bring to the world, to my work, or just this meeting?"
  • Connecting to the Future: Asking, "What am I meant to create when I am 80 and living in my dream retirement? What Legacy have I left behind that I am proud of?"

5. Conclusion: Stop Overestimating Others, Underestimating Yourself

• The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of taking action on one's unique calling and avoiding settling for other people's values and advice.
• She revisits the Mariah Carey lyrics from 1992 ("look inside you and be strong") to highlight the importance of self-trust and recognizing the hero within.
• The main takeaway is to stop overestimating others' intelligence and underestimating one's own to reconnect with full leadership potential.