How Do You Create Micro Moments I @drjoshaxe

Vanessa Van EdwardsAbout 2 min readAug 10, 2025Watch original
THE SUMMARYAI-generated

Key Concepts:

  • Micro moments of connection
  • Dr. Dan McAdams' research on intimacy
  • Three levels of connection: General Traits, Personal Concerns, Self-Narrative

Levels of Connection (Dr. Dan McAdams' Research):

Dr. Dan McAdams' research highlights the importance of "micro moments" in building intimacy, not just with partners but also with colleagues and peers. These micro moments are crucial for fostering genuine connection. McAdams identifies three sequential levels of connection that individuals must navigate to achieve deeper intimacy:

  1. Level One: General Traits: This level encompasses the basic, surface-level information about a person. It includes fundamental characteristics and easily observable attributes. It's the starting point for any relationship.

  2. Level Two: Personal Concerns: This level delves into what truly matters to an individual. It involves understanding their anxieties ("what keeps them up at night") and their passions ("what gets them up in the morning, what excites them"). Reaching this level signifies a deeper understanding and empathy. Knowing someone's personal concerns indicates a more profound connection than simply knowing their general traits.

  3. Level Three: Self-Narrative: This is the deepest level of connection, and according to the speaker, most people never reach it. Self-narrative refers to the story an individual tells themselves about their own life. It's how they interpret their experiences, make sense of their journey, and define their purpose. Sharing and understanding someone's self-narrative allows for the most profound level of connection.

Significance of the Levels:

The speaker emphasizes that moving through these three levels sequentially is essential for creating meaningful connections. The ultimate goal, according to the speaker, is to create connections "where we can truly see and be seen," which aligns with the idea that the meaning of life lies in fostering deep, authentic relationships.

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