How 3 words will change your life | Johanna Feick | TEDxTwenteU

Key Concepts:

• Living life true to oneself vs. living according to others' expectations.
• Self-made prophecy: believing you can't before even trying.
• The power of asking "How can I?" instead of accepting "I can't."
• Action equals motivation: taking action to overcome doubts and fears.
• Breaking down goals into actionable steps and milestones.
• Learning and gathering information as a key component of "How can I?"
• Overcoming the fear of failure, rejection, and judgment.

1. The Regret of Not Living True to Oneself:

• The speaker references Bronnie Ware's book on the top regrets of the dying, highlighting that not living life true to oneself is a major regret.
• The speaker shares personal experiences of growing up in a small town in Germany and feeling like a misfit, with dreams dismissed as unrealistic.
• The phrase "people like us can't" is used to illustrate the limiting beliefs imposed by others and internalized by the speaker.

2. The Epiphany: Shifting from "I Can't" to "How Can I?":

• The speaker describes a pivotal moment in a forest, realizing that their life was being dictated by others' expectations (study, stable job, marriage, children).
• At 19, the speaker yearned for travel, learning, and self-discovery, but faced the familiar "I can't" narrative.
• The speaker made a conscious decision to challenge this narrative by asking "How can I?" instead.

3. Taking Action: The South Korea Example:

• The speaker researched visa requirements, cost of living, and airplane tickets to travel to South Korea.
• At 19, the speaker moved to South Korea alone, with limited Korean language skills and financial resources.
• The speaker worked odd jobs and eventually secured a marketing manager position, proving their doubts and others' wrong.
• The speaker also traveled to Thailand and Japan during their 12-month visa.

4. Building a Company and Supporting Others:

• Upon returning to Germany, the speaker moved to a large city and co-founded a company.
• By age 22, the speaker was leading products and teams in tech, fulfilling a dream.
• The speaker is now in a position to support others on their journeys by encouraging them to ask "How can I?".

5. The "Start with Why" Principle:

• Referencing Simon Sinek's "Start with Why," the speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying motivations behind goals.
• Example: If seeking wealth for love, perhaps seeking love directly is more effective.

6. Overcoming the Fear Gap:

• The speaker notes that people often get stuck even after understanding their "why."
• The "fear gap" of asking "How can I?" can be as significant as the fear of taking action.
• Avoiding the "How can I?" question allows people to avoid responsibility and potential pain (rejection, failure, judgment).
• However, this avoidance leads to decisions being made for you, potentially resulting in regret.

7. Action as the Key to Mindset Change:

• The speaker challenges the common belief that a mindset change is necessary before taking action.
• Action equals motivation: taking action drives mindset change.
• The speaker didn't have 100% confidence before going to South Korea or starting a company; they simply took action.

8. A Step-by-Step Process for "How Can I?":

• Step 1: Decide what you want to focus on: Choose something you're passionate about, regardless of its perceived importance to others.
• Step 2: Don't dwell on self-doubt: Focus on how someone would achieve the goal, not whether you personally believe you can.
• Step 3: Gather information: Research online articles, guides, YouTube videos, and startup programs to learn from others' experiences.
• Step 4: Set milestones and break them down into actions: Create a plan with specific, actionable steps.
  • Example: Setting up a legal entity (milestone) involves finding a lawyer, preparing questions, having the meeting, and following up.

9. The Marathon Analogy:

• Running a marathon requires understanding the process, assessing current fitness levels, training, and potentially enlisting a coach.
• The only way to achieve the goal is by creating a plan, setting milestones, and taking daily action (stretching, running).

10. Turning Impossibilities into Possibilities:

• When a goal seems impossible, go through the process of learning and creating an action plan.
• Starting a company may seem impossible, but calling a lawyer for information is a possible first step.

11. The Blueprint to Life:

• Learning everything that comes with a goal and turning it into an action plan is the answer to "How can I?" and a blueprint for life.

12. Overcoming Fear and Avoiding Regret:

• Taking the first step is scary, but having life pass you by is scarier.
• Courage is preferable to regret.
• Don't be your own prison; don't let others dictate your life.

13. Challenge:

• The speaker challenges the viewer to ask themselves "How can I?"

Synthesis/Conclusion:

The video emphasizes the importance of challenging limiting beliefs and taking action to pursue one's dreams. The key takeaway is the shift from asking "I can't" to "How can I?", which involves gathering information, creating a plan, and breaking down goals into actionable steps. The speaker argues that action drives motivation and that overcoming the fear of failure and judgment is essential for living a life true to oneself. The video provides a practical framework for turning seemingly impossible goals into achievable realities.