Harvard’s Secret to Leadership Success - Tom Wheelwright, Margaret Andrews

Key Concepts

• Self-standing: A deeper understanding of oneself, encompassing not just emotions but also the influences that shaped one's thinking, values, definition of success, and the impact of one's behavior on others.
• Self-awareness: The ability to recognize one's emotions in the moment.
• Independence of Thought and Action (IOTA): A measure used at MIT to describe entrepreneurs, emphasizing their ability to think and act independently.
• The Six Questions: A framework developed by Margaret Andrews to facilitate self-discovery.
• The Delta: The gap between the leader one is and the leader one desires to become.
• Behavioral Change: The process of altering ingrained habits and actions.
• Alter Ego: A strategy of adopting the persona of another individual (real or imagined) to approach situations differently.
• Multi-rater/360 Feedback: A feedback mechanism that gathers input from various sources (supervisors, peers, subordinates, clients) to provide a comprehensive view of an individual's performance and behavior.

Understanding Self-Standing for Leadership

The discussion centers on the critical role of self-understanding, termed "self-standing," in becoming a great leader, going beyond mere business acumen. Margaret Andrews, author of "Manage Yourself to Lead Others," argues that while knowing one's business, product, customers, and people is foundational, it's insufficient for effective leadership. True leadership requires a profound self-awareness and self-understanding.

The Importance of Self-Standing

• Scaling Organizations: In the early stages of a business with a small, homogenous team, a lack of self-understanding might not be a significant impediment. However, as an organization grows and incorporates more diverse individuals, understanding how one's behavior impacts others becomes paramount.
• Mitigating Failure: The high failure rate in entrepreneurship is often attributed, in part, to interpersonal conflicts within founding teams, customer dissatisfaction, and high employee turnover. These issues can stem from a lack of self-standing and self-management.
• Intentions vs. Behaviors: A key argument is that individuals often judge themselves by their intentions, while others judge them by their behaviors. Misalignment between intentions and observable behaviors leads to people feeling misunderstood and can hinder leadership effectiveness. As Andrews states, "we un we judge ourselves by our intentions. I intend to be a good team leader. I intend to be a good boss. I intend to be a good leader. But other people judge us by our behaviors."

The Six Questions Framework for Self-Discovery

Margaret Andrews proposes a six-question framework designed to help individuals explore their self-standing. She emphasizes that this is an ongoing process, not a one-time exercise.

1. Who and whose thinking has shaped you?

   • This is considered the most challenging question. It involves identifying individuals (parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, even those who have hurt you) and their ideas that have influenced your thinking.
   • The goal is to understand how past influences, even if inaccurate or unhelpful, have shaped your current beliefs and self-perception.
   • Example: A third-grade teacher's negative comment about a student's ability in a certain subject might take decades to overcome.
   • Quote: "You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending." - C.S. Lewis (as cited by Andrews).

2. What situations and events have impacted your life?

   • This question explores both "lucky" and "unlucky accidents."
   • Unlucky accidents: Obvious negative events like illness before an interview or accidents.
   • Lucky accidents: Seemingly minor events that had significant positive consequences, such as meeting a spouse at a party one initially didn't want to attend.

3. How do you define success (personal and professional)?

   • This probes beyond superficial goals (e.g., reaching a billion dollars) to understand the underlying motivations and meaning behind these aspirations.

4. What are your core values?

   • This question delves into the fundamental principles that guide one's life.
   • Methods for discovery:
     • Calendar analysis: Examining how time is allocated can reveal true values. "What crowds out what?" is a key consideration.
     • Identifying anger triggers: What makes you angry often points to a violated value.

5. How well do you understand your own emotions and how you come across to others when experiencing them?

   • This assesses emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
   • Key indicator: "Who knows that you're mad first, you or the person you're with?" If it's the other person, it suggests a lack of self-awareness. Suppressed emotions can manifest negatively.

6. What type of feedback have you received (personal and professional)?

   • Analyzing feedback, especially consistent themes or surprising responses, can highlight how one's behaviors are perceived and where mismatches between intentions and actions might exist.
   • Connection to Question 5: Feedback often reflects how one's emotions and behaviors are perceived by others.

Moving from Insight to Action: The Delta

Once the six questions are explored, the insights gained are used to identify the "delta" – the gap between the leader one is and the leader one aspires to become. This is achieved through three subsequent questions:

1. What type of leader are you? (Based on self-perception and feedback)
2. What kind of leader would you like to become? (Desired attributes and behaviors)
3. What is the delta? (The difference between the current and desired state)

The answer to the delta question reveals the necessary actions, which often involve behavioral change.

Strategies for Behavioral Change

Changing ingrained behaviors, especially those rooted in long-held beliefs and values, is challenging. Andrews offers several strategies:

• Mindset Shift: Accept that learning new behaviors involves initial awkwardness and mistakes. Improvement is gradual, then accelerates.
• Learning and Practice:
  • Seek knowledge: Read books, take classes, hire a coach.
  • Observe others: Identify individuals who excel in the desired behavior and learn from them.
  • Experimentation: Try new approaches, acknowledge mistakes, and adjust through practice and feedback.
• Role Modeling: As a leader, demonstrating a willingness to change and improve sets a positive example for the team.
• Alter Ego Technique: Imagine how a respected figure (e.g., Superman, a wise mentor, or a future version of oneself) would handle a situation and channel that persona.
• Prioritization:
  • Focus on one behavior at a time. Trying to change too many things simultaneously leads to failure.
  • Selection criteria: Choose a behavior that is either perceived as easier to change (to build momentum) or has the highest leverage (e.g., addressing feedback that is consistently holding you back).

Leadership Challenges at Different Scaling Levels

Andrews observes that leaders face distinct challenges as their businesses grow:

• Inability to Change One's Mind: A hallmark of strong leadership is the willingness to adapt one's views when presented with better arguments. This requires self-confidence.
• Misalignment of Intentions and Behaviors: As mentioned earlier, this leads to people feeling misunderstood and can erode trust.
• Interpersonal Conflicts: The inability to get along with people is a significant barrier to leadership and business success. High turnover in large organizations often indicates weak leadership.

Where Entrepreneurs Should Start

For entrepreneurs feeling overwhelmed by the concept of self-understanding, Andrews suggests:

• Engage with the Six Questions: Even if a particular question doesn't immediately resonate, it's important to explore it, as reluctance might indicate an area needing attention.
• Utilize Assessments: Consider multi-rater or 360-degree feedback assessments. These can provide objective insights into how one's behaviors are perceived, especially when self-perception is skewed.
• Pay Attention to Surprising Feedback: Feedback that is unexpected or disagreed with often highlights the disconnect between intentions and behaviors. Andrews likens such feedback to "gifts that come in ugly packages."

Conclusion

The Wealthability Show episode emphasizes that while financial acumen is crucial for success, a deep understanding of oneself – self-standing – is the bedrock of effective leadership. By engaging in introspection, seeking feedback, and committing to behavioral change, entrepreneurs and leaders can enhance their effectiveness, build stronger teams, and ultimately achieve greater success, both personally and professionally. As the episode concludes, "when we do get some really good self-standing, we're always going to make way more money and pay way less tax."