Find the story you want to be | Bisila Bokoko | TEDxKLU Hamburg

Key Concepts:

• Adaptive Identity: The ability to evolve and integrate different aspects of oneself.
• Narrative Agency: The power to create and control one's own story.
• Future Literacy: The ability to envision and prepare for the future.
• Identity Shifting: Consciously adopting the qualities and habits of the person you aspire to be.
• Scripting: Writing your own life story as a means of shaping your reality.
• Visualization: Mentally rehearsing desired outcomes to increase the likelihood of achieving them.
• Cultural Intelligence: The ability to understand and navigate different cultural contexts effectively.

I. Family History and Early Life

• The speaker's great-grandmother, Da Par, was born in Equatorial Guinea, the only African country where Spanish is spoken.
• Da Par escaped domestic violence in the late 1950s and moved to Barcelona, Spain, to study education.
• She returned to Equatorial Guinea and founded a school for women called "Wiso Epola," meaning "women raise up," believing that education empowers women with choices.
• The speaker's mother was a student at Wiso Epola and later became a nurse in Spain. Her father, Da Par's grandson, studied law in Spain in the 1970s.
• The speaker was born in Spain in the mid-1970s, a time when diversity was not widely recognized.
• She recalls realizing she was black at age seven when a classmate reacted negatively to sitting next to her, believing blackness was contagious.
• Her parents, immigrants themselves, told her she would face challenges as a black woman and that her actions would impact stereotypes.

II. Education and Career Challenges

• The speaker's parents were young and worked hard, so she spent much time with books, which became her "nannies, teachers, and psychologists."
• Books helped her understand what it meant to be African in the world, including the legacies of slavery and colonization.
• She initially wanted to be an actress, but her parents encouraged her to pursue more "serious" studies.
• She earned degrees in law, economics, an MBA, and international relations.
• Despite her qualifications, she faced job search difficulties, experiencing rejection and encountering prejudice when employers realized she was black.
• She describes the process of job applications at the time as involving typewriters, physical mail, and a lack of online networking.

III. Shifting the Narrative and Finding Opportunity

• The book "Real Magic" by Wayne Dyer inspired her to change her narrative from victim to creator.
• She realized her cultural intelligence was an asset and focused on how she could contribute to companies, particularly in international business.
• She applied to organizations promoting overseas business and was hired, leading to her move to New York City.
• She recounts meeting the new general manager on her first day and directly asking her how to become a director, demonstrating her proactive approach.
• The speaker emphasizes the importance of asking for what you want and not waiting for opportunities to come to you. "Sometimes we are waiting for things happen to us. But you have to ask."

IV. Career Success and Setbacks

• In New York, she helped Spanish companies sell products like paella and olive oil.
• She became the executive director of the Spain-US Chamber of Commerce, representing the entire country.
• She faced challenges as a young woman in a boardroom of older men.
• She was fired from her position on a Friday at 3 p.m., a common practice in America.
• She reflected on her arrogance and lack of self-awareness, realizing the importance of aligning who you are with what you do.

V. Entrepreneurship and Philanthropy

• She realized she was an entrepreneur and overcame her fear of financial insecurity. "Behind fear, there is always an opportunity. Fear is not the absence of being brave is to do it with fear."
• At age 35, she visited Africa for the first time and was struck by the lack of access to books for children.
• She founded the Villa Africa Literacy Project to create libraries in Africa, believing books can transform lives.
• She shares the story of Paul, a Masai boy who dreamed of becoming a pilot and achieved his dream through education.

VI. Capabilities for Changing Your Narrative

• Adaptive Identity: The ability to evolve and integrate different aspects of oneself, as exemplified by Steve Jobs.
• Narrative Agency: The power to create and control one's own story.
• Future Literacy: The ability to envision and prepare for the future.

VII. Techniques for Personal Transformation

• Identity Shifting: Identifying and adopting the qualities of the person you want to become.
• Scripting: Writing your own life story as a means of shaping your reality.
• Visualization: Mentally rehearsing desired outcomes to increase the likelihood of achieving them.

VIII. Conclusion

• The speaker encourages the audience to be "map makers" and create their own paths instead of searching for existing ones.
• She emphasizes the importance of going to bed with a smile and waking up with one.
• She concludes by referencing her great-grandmother's belief in the power of education and the ability to change one's narrative.

Main Takeaways/Synthesis:

The speaker's journey highlights the power of education, resilience, and self-awareness in overcoming adversity and achieving success. By embracing her cultural identity, shifting her narrative from victim to creator, and proactively pursuing opportunities, she transformed her life and made a positive impact on others. The speech emphasizes the importance of adaptability, self-reflection, and the ability to envision and create one's own future.