Esther Ghey says the mother of one of her daughter Brianna Ghey’s killers is "a friend". #BBCNews

Key Concepts:

• Shared grief and understanding between the mother of the victim and the mother of the perpetrator.
• Dangers of unrestricted smartphone access for children.
• The importance of humanizing the perpetrator's family.
• The impossibility of fully "moving on" from traumatic events.
• Navigating shared, extremely difficult circumstances.

Meeting and Friendship with Emma (Mother of the Perpetrator):

The speaker describes developing a friendship with Emma, the mother of the girl who took Brianna's life. The speaker emphasizes that Emma is "a normal mother" who was unaware of the "terribly dark material" her child was accessing online.

Dangers of Smartphone Access:

The speaker highlights the pervasive danger of smartphones, noting that children have them "in their pockets 24/7," making it impossible for parents to constantly monitor their online activity. This unrestricted access is presented as a significant contributing factor to the tragedy.

Humanizing the Perpetrator's Family:

Meeting Emma was crucial for the speaker to understand that she is "a normal person." This understanding helped the speaker avoid creating negative assumptions and narratives about Emma.

Coping and Acceptance:

The speaker acknowledges that "you can never move on from something so horrific." However, meeting Emma has helped the speaker "accept" the situation, recognizing that both are "navigating something that's extremely difficult" and that Emma has also "lost a child."

Notable Quotes:

• "I really would call Emma a friend now as well and she is just a norm a normal mother and she she had no idea what her child was accessing."
• "It's helped me in a way because I think that you can make stories up in your own head about the way that people are and it was important for me to meet her to understand that actually she's she's a normal person."
• "I don't think you can ever move on from from something so horrific but it's helped me to to accept that actually she's she's just we're both navigating something that's extremely difficult and she's lost a child."

Synthesis/Conclusion:

The speaker's experience highlights the unexpected connection and shared grief that can arise between the families of victims and perpetrators. It underscores the dangers of unchecked smartphone access for children and the importance of humanizing the families involved in tragic events. While complete healing may be impossible, understanding and acceptance can be achieved through empathy and shared experience.