Courageous Communication in AEC: How Great Leaders Build Stronger Teams

Key Concepts

• Courageous Communication
• Four Hidden Challenges in Communication
• Personality Assessments (Amiable, Expressive, Analyst, Driver)
• Giving and Receiving Feedback
• Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
• Conscious and Unconscious Bias
• In-group vs. Out-group
• Continuous Growth Mindset

Introduction

The discussion centers around the importance of courageous communication for engineering leaders and technical professionals. It highlights the challenges they face and provides practical strategies to improve their communication skills, emphasizing the role of self-awareness, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

Michelle Gladio's Background and Philosophy

• Background: Michelle Gladio, president of Gladio Consulting, has a background in industrial-organizational psychology. She was drawn to the field at Purdue University and has been working in it ever since. She taught at universities for 20 years and worked in corporate HR before starting her consulting business in 2004.
• Philosophy: Gladio emphasizes the importance of continuous self-improvement in communication. She believes that effective communication is crucial for success and joy in life. Her thesis is that people should be willing to look at themselves and use "pro moves" to improve their communication skills daily.

Courageous Communication for Engineering Leaders

• Definition: Courageous communication is described as a "full body, full mind, full heart effort." It involves self-awareness and a willingness to step outside one's comfort zone.
• Examples:
  • A talkative person making an effort to speak less.
  • A person who tends to hang back in meetings making an effort to speak up.
• Process: Gladio uses personality assessments to gather data and create monthly goal plans for individuals to experiment with new behaviors. She notes that analytical thinkers in engineering can be highly successful at improving their communication because they can follow a process.

Understanding Personality Types

• Importance: Understanding different personality types is crucial for tailoring communication to the audience.
• Four Personality Types (Gladio Consulting's Model):
  • Amiable: Team players who value harmony.
  • Expressive: Big-picture thinkers who are comfortable in the spotlight.
  • Analyst: Controlled, detail-oriented, and contemplative.
  • Driver: Focused on getting things done quickly.
• Application: Recognizing these personality types helps leaders understand how individuals prefer to receive information and adjust their communication style accordingly. It's like "going to another country" and learning to speak their language.

Giving and Receiving Feedback

• Key Principle: Treat everyone as equals, regardless of their position or background. Avoid communicating as if you think someone is "less than you."
• Intention: Ensure your motivation is good and fair.
• Preamble: Use a preamble when giving feedback, especially if you're not good at it yet. Examples:
  • "This isn't my area of expertise, but..."
  • "I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but I'd like to offer some feedback."
• Feedback Challenge: Gladio Consulting offers a free "Feedback Challenge" tool on their website (gladioconsulting.com). It's a one-page sheet with the questions:
  • "What's something that you enjoy about working with me or communicating with me?"
  • "What's something you sometimes think I could do better?"
• Process:
  1. Distribute the challenge to a diverse group of people (e.g., 12 individuals).
  2. Collect the feedback.
  3. In a team meeting, have each person share their favorite piece of praise and their favorite piece of criticism.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in the Workplace

• Importance: EQ is crucial for navigating challenging moments like conflict and protecting team morale.
• Handling Conflict:
  1. Acknowledge the "weirdness": If something feels off, it probably is.
  2. Ask: Politely and professionally give people a chance to speak.
  3. Use a preamble: State your intention to continue working well together.
  4. Name what you see, feel, or hear: Use your five senses to describe the situation.
  5. Ask directly: "Is there something I did to offend you?" or "Is there something we need to talk about?"
  6. Leave the door open: If someone denies there's an issue, say you're always interested in improving the relationship.
• Know Your Emotion: Be aware of your own emotions and be able to name them. Recognize that you may experience layers of emotions.
• Guess the Other Person's Emotion: Take a "scientific wild guess" at the other person's likely emotion to help you with your approach.

Developing Communication Skills for Emerging Leaders

• Personality Assessment: Use a robust, valid, and reliable personality assessment to understand your strengths, weaknesses, and conflict preferences. Look for assessments that provide insights into negative perceptions others may have of you.
• Overcoming Stereotypes:
  1. Share Your Goals: Let people know that you are working on improving your communication skills.
  2. Seek Feedback: Ask for feedback on your communication style.
  3. Find a Feedback Partner: Have someone observe you in meetings and provide feedback afterward.

Case Studies and Examples

• 122nd Fighter Wing (US Air Force): The "Fighter Wing Feedback Challenge" was created to encourage commanders to seek feedback from their airmen, contributing to retention and performance.
• Allen County Jail: The jail commander used the Feedback Challenge and learned that his employees perceived him as looking "murdery." This feedback allowed him to adjust his demeanor and improve his interactions with his team.

Conclusion

Effective communication is a critical skill for engineering leaders and technical professionals. By developing self-awareness, understanding different personality types, practicing empathy, and seeking feedback, individuals can improve their communication skills and become more effective leaders. The key is to embrace a continuous growth mindset and be willing to step outside of one's comfort zone.