Confidence – Built, Borrowed and Expanded | Renu Bohra | TEDxDWPS Ludhiana Youth

Key Concepts

• Confidence: Defined not as an innate trait, but as a constructible skill.
• BANI World: An acronym for Brittle, Anxious, Non-linear, and Incomprehensible; the current state of the world that necessitates high levels of confidence.
• Borrowed Confidence: The act of leveraging the belief and perspective of others (mentors, coaches) when one’s own self-belief is depleted.
• The Confidence Formula: Confidence = Support + Preparation + Action.

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1. The Nature of Confidence

The speaker challenges the common misconception that confidence is an inherent gift. Instead, confidence is presented as a dynamic skill that can be developed. It is rooted in external validation during childhood (parents, teachers, coaches) and professional life (managers, leaders). The core argument is that confidence is essential for navigating a "BANI" world, where it serves as the differentiator between those who succumb to setbacks ("Why me?") and those who explore possibilities ("What next?").

2. The Three Pillars of Building Confidence

A. Support (The Foundation)

Confidence often begins with others believing in us before we believe in ourselves. Leaders and mentors play a critical role in fostering this. When an individual faces a setback, they may need to "borrow" confidence from a mentor or coach who can provide a new perspective, helping them see themselves as "outliers" or exceptions to negative odds.

B. Preparation (The Antidote to Self-Doubt)

Preparation is described as an "ancient truth" for success.

• Case Study: The speaker references the dialogue between Yudishthir and Bhishma Pitamaha from the Mahabharata. When asked why a farmer should toil if the rains are uncertain, Bhishma Pitamaha counters: "What if rain comes and you are not prepared?"
• Application: Preparation involves studying stakeholders, understanding business contexts, and identifying common interests. While we cannot control outcomes, we have total control over preparation, which effectively kills self-doubt.

C. Action (The Evidence Generator)

The speaker argues against the common belief that one must feel confident before taking action. Instead, the sequence is reversed: Action leads to evidence, and evidence leads to confidence.

• Observation: The speaker notes that many talented individuals—specifically citing women in their career—often wait until they feel "fully qualified" or "fully prepared" before acting. This delay is a confidence issue, not a capability issue. Taking action despite not feeling fully ready is the primary way to build lasting self-assurance.

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3. Key Arguments and Perspectives

• The "Why Me?" vs. "What Next?" Mindset: Confidence is the psychological tool that allows individuals to pivot during crises.
• The Limitation of Borrowed Confidence: While mentors can help us get started by shifting our perspective, borrowed confidence is not sustainable long-term. It must be converted into personal confidence through individual action.
• Responsibility of Leadership: The speaker emphasizes that it is the duty of parents, teachers, and managers to instill confidence in others by believing in their potential.

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4. Notable Quotes

• "Confidence is not a gift. Confidence is built."
• "We don't have control on the outcome, but we have control on the preparation."
• "Every action creates evidence. And evidence creates confidence."

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5. Synthesis and Conclusion

Confidence is not a mysterious, static trait; it is a practical, three-part framework. By seeking support from others, engaging in rigorous preparation to eliminate self-doubt, and taking consistent action to generate evidence of success, anyone can build confidence. The ultimate takeaway is that confidence is a proactive process: build it, borrow it when necessary, and expand it through continuous action.