A date with death | Liz Little | TEDxCanberra

Key Concepts:

• Stage four ovarian cancer (secondary bowel) / Pseudomyxoma peritonei
• Radical peritonectomy (the "mother of all surgeries")
• Heated intraperitoneal chemotherapy (HIPEC)
• Acceptance, Letting Go, Finding Your Tribe (mental strategies)
• Agency in the face of adversity
• Living intentionally and sucking the marrow out of life
• Finite breaths and the importance of quality days

1. Cancer Diagnosis and Treatment:

• Liz Little was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer that was secondary bowel, later identified as a rare cancer called pseudomyxoma peritonei. This cancer produces a mucin, a jelly-like substance, that coats and suffocates organs.
• Her only hope was a radical peritonectomy, an 18-hour surgery to remove the cancer, followed by heated intraperitoneal chemotherapy (HIPEC). HIPEC involved pumping a liter of chemotherapy into her abdomen daily for five days while she was rotated.
• She lost multiple organs, including her spleen, gallbladder, appendix, omentum, an ovary, and part of her large bowel.
• The cancer recurred multiple times, leading to a second, third, and fourth peritonectomy. The fourth surgery resulted in a colostomy, and she may need a bladder bag in the future.

2. Personal Losses and Challenges:

• Liz's father died from pancreatic cancer just five weeks after his diagnosis.
• She underwent IVF treatments to try to have children, but the cancer returned during testing, leading to the removal of her remaining ovary and ending her chances of motherhood.
• Her mother also died from pancreatic cancer.

3. Turning Point: The Car Crash:

• A car crash involving a family being killed served as a turning point. It made Liz realize she was fearing death and forgetting to live.
• This event prompted her to focus on living each day to the fullest.

4. Mental Strategies for Living Intentionally:

• Liz shared three mental strategies she uses daily:
  • Acceptance: Accepting reality without resistance, letting go of guilt and unfairness. Example: Accepting that she will never be a mother but embracing her role as an auntie and godmother.
  • Letting Go: Releasing resistance and not getting caught up in the minutiae of daily life. She references Michael Singer's reminder that we are on a planet spinning in outer space, making daily worries inconsequential.
  • Finding Your Tribe: Surrounding yourself with supportive people who love and uplift you. She mentions her surgeon, GP, spiritual healer, husband, sister, family, friends, and colleagues.

5. Key Arguments and Perspectives:

• Death as a Teacher: Death has been Liz's greatest teacher, opening her eyes to how she wants to live.
• Agency in the Face of Adversity: Life can punch you in the face, but you can choose how you respond.
• Importance of Planning: Only one in five people have talked to their family about how they want to go.
• Living Each Day: Each day brings one less breath, so it's important to live quality days.

6. Notable Quotes:

• "Go make peace with God." (First surgeon's advice after initial diagnosis)
• "I don't want to die a spinster." (Liz's way of proposing to Matt)
• "That's one less [breath]. Now how do you want to spend the rest?"
• "I will die and return as stardust."

7. Technical Terms and Concepts:

• Pseudomyxoma Peritonei: A rare cancer that produces mucin in the abdomen.
• Radical Peritonectomy: A surgical procedure to remove the peritoneum and any cancerous tissue in the abdomen.
• Heated Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy (HIPEC): Chemotherapy delivered directly into the abdominal cavity after surgery.
• Colostomy: A surgical procedure that creates an opening in the abdomen for waste to be eliminated.

8. Logical Connections:

• The initial cancer diagnosis and treatment failures led to a period of despair and fear of death.
• The car crash served as a catalyst for change, prompting Liz to focus on living intentionally.
• The mental strategies she developed help her maintain a positive outlook and make the most of each day.

9. Synthesis/Conclusion:

Liz Little's story is a powerful testament to resilience, acceptance, and the importance of living intentionally in the face of adversity. Despite multiple cancer diagnoses, personal losses, and physical challenges, she has chosen to embrace life, find joy, and inspire others to do the same. Her mental strategies of acceptance, letting go, and finding your tribe offer actionable insights for anyone seeking to live a more fulfilling life. The core message is to recognize the finite nature of life and to make conscious choices to live each day with purpose and gratitude.