10 years from the 2015 Paris terror attacks: a survivor tells her story • FRANCE 24 English

Key Concepts

• Bataclan Attack (November 13, 2015): A terrorist attack that occurred during a concert at the Bataclan theatre in Paris.
• Survivor's Guilt: The psychological distress experienced by individuals who have survived a traumatic event when others did not.
• PTSD Triggers: Sounds or situations that can evoke memories and emotional responses associated with a traumatic event.
• Societal Reflection: The need for society to question the roots of hatred and prevent future atrocities.

Personal Account of the Bataclan Attack

Alix Sical recounts her experience as a survivor of the Bataclan attack on November 13, 2015. She was in the pit ("la fosse") of the concert hall, having planned to attend the Girls of the Metal concert for some time and meeting up with four friends.

The Onset of the Attack

• The concert began with a positive atmosphere, with attendees singing, jumping, and dancing.
• Approximately 40 minutes into the concert, Sical heard a firecracker-like noise behind her. Initially, she dismissed it as a prank or a special effect from the band.
• Turning to investigate the noise, she saw one of the terrorists at the top with a long brown weapon and an explosive belt around him.
• Panic ensued, with people falling on top of each other like dominoes. Everyone lay down due to the gunfire.

Initial Reactions and Escape Attempt

• Sical lay on top of her friend and attempted to call emergency services, hoping that if they heard the sounds, it might help, but she had no network signal.
• A paradoxical, deafening silence followed the initial gunfire, described as a "silence of death," punctuated by bursts of shooting and reloading.
• Between reloads, a member of the Bataclan security staff signaled for people to evacuate towards the emergency exit to the left of the stage, which led to the Passage Amelot.
• The lights were quickly turned back on, aiding the evacuation signal.
• As people began to rise and move towards the exit, Sical witnessed the "first vision of horror." She saw someone collapse in front of her and her friend fall into a pool of blood.
• Realizing her friend was no longer beside her, Sical pulled her up and pushed her towards the exit.
• However, at least two terrorists were directing their fire at the fleeing crowd, causing people to fall all around.
• Sical felt it was too dangerous to continue advancing and retreated, trying to get at least partially to the ground. She saw her friend continue running through the exit doorway, providing some relief.

The Terrorists' Tactics and Further Violence

• As more people attempted to exit, Sical heard shouts of "Get up, get out!" which she realized were the terrorists trying to lure people who were still lying down.
• Sical turned off her phone because the terrorists were shooting at ringing phones and at people who stood up.
• The gunfire continued to be directed at the pit from above.
• Sical heard a terrorist on stage and then an explosion. She later learned this was a terrorist who was shot by the BAC (Brigade Anti-Criminalité) and detonated himself on stage.
• She heard radio communications, indicating the police were behind the corridor doors, but acknowledged the reality was not like a movie and the situation was complex.

The Aftermath and Psychological Impact

• Sical identifies the moment she stood up to be evacuated and searched for her friends as the most impactful. She realized the extent of the casualties.
• Although physically unharmed, Sical experienced significant psychological trauma, describing a clear "before and after."
• She has been on sick leave for five years, largely due to the trauma, and anticipates its long-term effects, even beyond ten years.
• She emphasizes the violence and the lack of preparedness for such an event.
• Sical experiences "body memory," where sudden, loud noises can instantly transport her back to that moment.

Societal and Personal Reflections

• Sical poses a question to society: if individuals can reach such states of hatred, shouldn't society reflect on how to prevent such events from happening again?
• She has returned to the Bataclan for concerts on several occasions, finding it consistently difficult. This year, she was unable to attend any concerts.
• She can no longer go to the cinema due to loud sounds, especially in action films.
• Despite her luck in surviving and her friends being alive, Sical experiences survivor's guilt. She feels she is not doing enough with her life compared to those who did not survive.
• She struggles with feelings of not being happy enough, despite her circumstances, and feels a burden of "ups and downs."